A Letter to My Soulmates

Do you believe in soulmates? It’s a question I find myself asked frequently—perhaps because I work in therapy, or maybe it’s due to my 11-year relationship with my partner at the young age of 30. Regardless of the reason, I’m here to share my thoughts. The truth is, I do believe in soulmates—soulmates, plural. I have many.

This belief is my response to the man who shares his life story with me during a flight, or the woman in the grocery store who confides in me about her relationship troubles because I’m “so easy to talk to.” It’s also an answer for the little ones with bright eyes, asking about love before they’ve experienced its challenges. And yes, it extends to those who have faced loss and are left questioning what love is: yes, I believe in soulmates, plural.

We each have numerous soulmates—those who love us, our friends, even our pets (especially dogs, but I’m not a cat person, sorry). So when someone asks, “Who is your soulmate?” I encourage them to seek their own “soulmates,” friends who will stand by them through life’s ups and downs.

Get yourself a soulmate who will comfort you during the hardest times, someone who will support you through grief and joy alike. Find friends who will drop everything to be with you in your darkest moments, who bring care packages filled with love, and who will reach out even when you can’t respond. Seek family members who respect your needs while offering their unwavering support.

If you’ve made it this far, you’ve learned something about me: I’ve faced challenges and I am surrounded by love. But that doesn’t make me unique; life is complex and often unfair. It happens to everyone, even to those we see on planes or in stores.

In the end, life is a beautiful mess—full of inexplicable pain and joy. So when you find yourself searching for that one perfect soulmate, remember to appreciate your tribe of loved ones—those who may not be perfect but who show up and love you through it all.

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