20+ Hilarious Sloth Jokes and Puns for When You’re Chilling Out

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Is your little one currently on a sloth kick? Do they keep asking to rewatch the DMV scene from Zootopia just to see how a sloth takes forever to stamp a document? Or are they eager to hang upside down like those adorable creatures? We totally get it! Sloths are fascinating animals. Did you know they can poop a third of their body weight in one shot? Or that the extinct giant ground sloths were responsible for spreading avocado seeds around the world? And speaking of sloths and their unique bathroom habits, they actually risk their lives by heading to the ground to do their business. They’re incredible beings, which explains why your kiddo is so smitten with them.

So, here’s a fun way to support your child’s new obsession: by sharing some giggles with sloth-themed jokes and puns! We’ve compiled a list of some of the funniest sloth one-liners and puns to brighten your day. Plus, if you’re curious about some impressive sloth facts, we’ve got those too. Get ready to enjoy some laughter!

  1. What did the tortoise say while dating the sloth? “Let’s take it sloooooow.”
  2. I stared at a GIF of a sloth for five minutes before realizing it was just a still image.
  3. What do sloths toss during winter? Slowballs.
  4. What do you call a sloth that hardly moves? A slow-off.
  5. I once watched a sloth eat a watch. It was quite time-consuming.
  6. What do you name smart sloths? Slo-mo sapiens.
  7. What do sloths create in the snow? Slow Angels.
  8. Have you heard the one about the sloth crossing the road? Forget it, it’d take too long.
  9. Why was the sloth fired from his job? He only did the BEAR minimum.
  10. They say I have a body made for sin… that sin being sloth.
  11. What do you get when a cat and a sloth have a baby? A slow leopard.
  12. Why did the sloth avoid extinction? It had no plans to go anywhere.
  13. When does a sloth go “moo”? When it’s learning a new language!
  14. What do you call it when a sloth has a second helping? Slothy seconds.
  15. Sloths never kiss on the first date… they take it slow.
  16. What do you get when you mix a sloth with a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
  17. What did the sloth say after being mugged by snails? “Everything happened so fast!”
  18. How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
  19. What’s a sloth’s favorite tune? Don’t Hurry, Be Happy.
  20. Why did the sloths vote to keep coal mines open? They’re conservative when it comes to energy.
  21. What did the grape say when the sloth stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  22. A boy was caught with a BB gun and a sloth. The policeman warned him, “Whatever you do to that creature, I will do to you.” The boy replied, “In that case, I’ll kiss its butt and let it go.”
  23. I told my spouse that a sloth bear at the zoo gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said, “Now she’s guilty of two deadly sins: sloth and gluttony.”
  24. A sloth walks into a bar to get drunk. After a long time, the bartender asks why he’s there. The sloth replies, “I’m sad; my wife is leaving me. I bet she’s already halfway through the kitchen.”
  25. One sloth said to another, “I used to hate moss…” “But now I think it’s growing on me.”
  26. Sloths are the most sociable animals; they always want to hang out.
  27. What does a sloth journalist read every morning at work? A snooze paper.
  28. Why did the sloth cross the road? No one knows; he’s still trying!

Sloth Facts You’ll Love

Sloths may be hilarious, but they’re also intriguing! Here are some astounding sloth facts that will impress you:

  • They may seem cute, but sloths are three times stronger than humans.
  • They can starve even when full because if they get too cold, their bodies can’t digest the food.
  • Sloths have poor eyesight; they’re blind in bright light.
  • While slow on land, they are surprisingly quick in water.
  • It takes a sloth nearly 30 days to digest a single leaf.

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Summary

In summary, sloths are not only adorable but also offer a wealth of humor and fascinating trivia. From their slow-paced lifestyle to their unique habits, sloths capture our hearts and make us laugh. If you’re looking to share a laugh with your little sloth enthusiast, these jokes and puns are sure to bring some joy!


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