Like many rational individuals, I am a coffee lover and, yes, a bit of a coffee connoisseur. Go ahead, scoff if you must. Mock me with your trendy frappes—I can handle it. Meanwhile, I’ll be here savoring my perfectly brewed cup of Ethiopian Yirgacheffe, delighting in the rich aroma reminiscent of distant horizons.
Before you toss a coffee cup my way, allow me to clarify. Being a coffee snob doesn’t imply I’m a barista-level expert, nor do I look down on anyone’s beverage choices. My coffee journey began with an old Mr. Coffee machine brewing instant Folgers every day at 6:30 a.m. My mother couldn’t start her day without a strong black brew. When I dared to sample it, it felt like swallowing liquid metal mixed with gym socks. I could never fathom why anyone would choose that over something enjoyable.
It wasn’t until my mid-20s, after a regrettable night out, that I experienced my first full cup of coffee. A colleague handed me a chipped mug and directed me to the coffee maker. That initial sip was a rough ride, but it pulled me from my hangover haze. I was buzzing for hours, and just like that, I was hooked. After months of bland coffee, my palate began to crave something superior. If I was going to indulge daily, I might as well enjoy the best options available. Thus commenced my coffee obsession.
I don’t own a fancy kettle or a high-end grinder, nor do I read coffee publications or follow blogs about it. However, I do appreciate knowing the origin and roasting process of my beans. I might jokingly adopt an Italian flair to describe a brew as “rich with notes of cherry wood.” (Okay, maybe not the accent part.)
Truthfully, nothing compares to the feeling a great cup of coffee gives me: comforted, engaged, and, for a few hours, invincible. If that makes me a snob, then so be it. Curious whether you might share my snobby tendencies? If you find yourself agreeing with this list, welcome aboard:
1. I Refuse to Settle for Mediocre Coffee
Even in dire circumstances, I won’t resort to subpar coffee. At home, I patiently wait through my meticulous process to achieve that perfect cup (refer to No. 2 below). When ordering an espresso, I might take over an hour from waking to sipping, and I gladly embrace morning fog for the right brew.
2. Brewing at Home is a Sacred Ritual
I’m a devotee of the AeroPress method, which involves boiling water, assembling the device, measuring grounds, adding water, stirring, and patiently waiting. My family knows not to touch my favorite mug. I add the perfect amount of sugar and milk (a true coffee aficionado would never do this, by the way), close my eyes, and savor. Those moments with my steaming cup are blissful. (Disclaimer: My partner usually prepares my coffee, which makes it even more delightful.)
3. I Seek Out Destination Coffee Shops
I will go out of my way to visit a beloved café. Those of us who appreciate good coffee can be quite sociable. Finding a café that offers excellent coffee, skilled baristas, and a welcoming atmosphere is worth the journey. Plus, being a regular means the barista starts your order without you saying a word—what a delight!
4. I Understand Coffee Terminology
I can differentiate a latte from a cappuccino, a flat white from a caffe breve, and I know that the crema on an espresso is not cream. However, I can also thoroughly enjoy a simple cup of brewed coffee—just not Folgers.
5. I Avoid Pre-Ground Coffee
After about five days, coffee loses its freshness, no matter how well it’s stored. I don’t have an expensive grinder, so I ask the barista for just the right amount of beans to last me five days. Most grocery stores offer grinders in the coffee aisle, which can come in handy.
6. Starbucks Earns My Respect
While my coffee preferences have matured, I owe a debt of gratitude to Starbucks for introducing me to quality espresso. The year I became a coffee lover, a Starbucks opened nearby, completely transforming my experience. Anyone who claims that Pumpkin Spice Lattes or White Peppermint Mochas aren’t incredible is probably not being honest.
In conclusion, yes, I embrace my coffee snob label with pride. I know there are many like me out there, sipping away.
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Summary:
If you resonate with the traits of being a coffee enthusiast, from refusing subpar brews to valuing the origins of your beans, you might just be one too. A coffee snob finds joy in the ritual of brewing, seeks out the best cafes, and appreciates the nuances of coffee terminology—all while reveling in the experience that a well-crafted cup offers.
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