Recently, I found myself at dinner with my cousin. My five-year-old, in typical childlike fashion, eagerly offered the bread basket to my cousin, suggesting he help her butter another piece. While his intentions were sweet, the truth was he was just excited about buttering bread—his favorite restaurant activity.
“I can’t have more bread, honey,” my cousin said. “I’ll get fat!”
Although I knew my cousin didn’t intend to offend, hearing her say “I’ll get fat” made my heart race, and my protective instincts kicked in. Without hesitation, I exchanged a firm glance with her—she’s like family and understands my looks all too well. Shortly after, I pulled her aside and requested that she avoid such comments in front of my kids.
You may wonder why I reacted so strongly to what seems like a harmless remark. After all, many people make comments like that every day. However, it is anything but trivial. In that moment, I realized that I have consciously avoided saying such phrases, like “I’m fat,” around my children.
Despite my efforts to embrace body positivity, the societal notion that my body is inadequate has been ingrained in me since childhood. For years, I struggled with feelings of being unattractive and overweight. Although I never developed a full-blown eating disorder, I spent my twenties obsessing over my appearance and denying myself food to conform to an unrealistic ideal.
Thankfully, those days are behind me. I have learned to manage the negative voices in my head that criticize my natural body shape. However, I refuse to let those thoughts influence my children. Even if I sometimes fake confidence, I will not use derogatory terms like “fat” to describe myself or anyone else. It’s essential to dispel the myth that one body type is superior to another.
Of course, my kids will encounter similar negative messages elsewhere, and I can’t shield them from everything. I do believe, however, that the way their parents and close relatives discuss bodies holds significant weight. The adults in their lives are their primary role models, and our words can shape their self-image.
In our home, we celebrate differences and recognize that everyone is beautiful in their own way. It’s a safe space where feelings can be expressed openly, but mockery and criticism are never tolerated. We prioritize body autonomy, ensuring that no one feels pressured to conform to societal expectations.
Research indicates that children as young as eight or nine can experience body shame and body image issues, with some developing eating disorders. While we can’t control every outcome, we must do everything in our power to shield our kids from such negativity—including carefully choosing our words and fostering discussions about body image.
Life presents enough challenges, and we live in a world that often lacks body positivity and acceptance of diverse body types. With the rise of social media, children are increasingly exposed to harsh criticism regarding their appearance. This reality is concerning, to say the least.
By being mindful of my language, practicing self-love, and instilling a sense of inner and outer beauty in my children, I hope to mitigate some of the struggles they may face regarding body image. While I can’t protect them from every hurt, I believe every effort counts, and the language we use as parents profoundly impacts our children’s emotional well-being.
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Summary
In summary, I am committed to avoiding negative body talk around my children. Our home is a sanctuary that celebrates differences and promotes a healthy, positive body image. While we can’t shield our kids from every external influence, we can strive to be mindful of our words and maintain an environment that fosters self-love and acceptance.
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