Recently, my energetic toddler has been acting a bit aggressive. By that, I mean she has taken to pushing other kids when they try to engage with her. Is this typical behavior for toddlers? Absolutely, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. Coupled with her less-than-stellar listening skills, this behavior has been particularly challenging. It’s a tough mix, to say the least. I’m not sure if she perceives her pushing as a game, but it’s definitely time to put an end to it.
One morning, we decided to attend a gym class with her cousin. My adventurous little one was in full rebel mode, opting out of the group activities. Since I also had the baby with me, I chose to focus on the baby while allowing my toddler to explore independently. We often leave classes early due to her misbehavior, and I wanted to let my baby enjoy the class this time.
As I watched her play from the corner of my eye, I saw her interacting with her cousin. Just as I thought it was adorable, her arm shot up in the air, and with a mischievous grin, she pushed her cousin down with surprising force. He fell to the ground, clearly startled, and then the tears flowed.
“Now you’re going to timeout,” I said, scooping her up as she appeared quite pleased with her actions. But her attitude quickly changed once I placed her in her timeout spot. It often turns into a wrestling match, and she emerged looking a bit disheveled after what felt like an eternity in toddler prison.
“Sorry,” she mumbled to her cousin, and that was that.
Later on, karma caught up with her in a way that left me torn between horror and a strange sense of relief. Let me explain: After a napless stretch, I took both kids to a play area to let off some steam before bedtime. Everything was going smoothly until my daughter encountered a feisty little girl who was about her height.
While playing in one of the toy cars, my daughter once again shoved the little girl when she approached. The girl retaliated by tugging on my daughter’s arm. I quickly intervened, “Whoa! No hitting! Both of you,” I exclaimed, separating them. I directed the little girl to wait her turn, while my daughter zoomed off in the car.
The little girl sobbed, and I consoled her, showing her other toys to play with, because when it comes to toddlers, they all want the same thing.
A short while later, my daughter was trying to build with some blocks when the same girl approached again. This time, the girl shoved my daughter, who responded by pushing back. Time to referee once more, I thought, as I made my way toward them.
As I got closer, I saw my daughter trying to pull a block away from the girl. Then, in an unexpected turn of events, the girl bit my daughter. I watched as my daughter’s face contorted in disbelief, and I rushed over to comfort her as tears streamed down her cheeks. The bite hadn’t broken the skin, but it left a mark. The girl’s dad came over, and I explained the situation, acknowledging that while I was upset about the biting, both girls had been misbehaving. Biting is certainly worse than pushing, but it was clear they were both in the wrong.
As I hugged my crying daughter, I tried to explain, “If you push other kids, some might retaliate.” I didn’t dwell on it for long since she was so upset, but on some level, I hoped this experience would teach her that aggression isn’t the right way to express her needs.
It’s hard to say if she truly learned a lesson, but she has been less aggressive since that incident. Perhaps she’s reconsidering her actions, or maybe she just hasn’t encountered anyone who frustrates her as much since then. Either way, she did seem to understand that her actions have consequences, especially when it results in another child causing her pain.
This is why, despite the situation, I’m not completely horrified by my daughter getting bitten.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, check out this helpful resource. If you’re looking for additional information on pregnancy and fertility, this is an excellent resource.
Summary
My toddler’s aggressive behavior led to her getting bitten by another child, which surprisingly made me feel less upset. I used this experience to reinforce the idea that aggression has consequences while hoping she learned that it’s not the best way to communicate.
Leave a Reply