Being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) for nearly a decade has been a whirlwind journey. I’ve welcomed three children into this world, and looking back, those ten years feel like a blur. How did I manage it all? With a partner who often worked long hours and was frequently away, my days blended together in an almost indistinguishable haze. There was no pause, no break in sight.
There were stretches of days when I didn’t engage in a single adult conversation, skipped showers, and didn’t venture beyond my front door. As autumn rolled around each year, I’d watch friends with older kids skip off to celebrate the arrival of the school year, excited for the peace and personal time ahead.
I’d feel a twinge of jealousy.
For those of us in the trenches of caring for babies and toddlers, the months can feel like an endless loop—wiping, washing, feeding, and repeating. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and before you know it, a decade has passed. Then, one day, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and gasp. Who is this tired, gray-haired person staring back at you?
But then, the moment I had been waiting for finally arrived. On September 4 this year, all my kids boarded the bus at 8:15 AM, and I was left with a quiet house until 4 PM. The silence was blissful. I celebrated with a hot cup of coffee, ran errands solo, and indulged in some grown-up TV while curled up on the couch. I had earned it.
Sadly, not everyone views this newfound freedom positively. There’s often a rift between different types of moms. When SAHMs share funny memes about relishing a latte or a nap on the first day of school, we’re met with comments like, “Must be nice. Some of us have to work for a living.”
Let me clarify something: no one has ever said, “Those working moms have it easy.” And they shouldn’t. Working mothers are incredibly hardworking, often juggling two full-time jobs. If they take a day off, grab lunch with colleagues, or enjoy a night out, they absolutely deserve it.
I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM, so I understand that “work life” isn’t always glamorous. Lunch breaks often consist of quickly eating a sandwich while grading papers, not dining at fancy restaurants. What I did have as a teacher was adult interaction and financial contribution, which gave me a sense of value.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a privilege that many would love to experience but can’t afford. I cherish the time spent with my kids, having been there for every fever, scraped knee, and school project. I taught them their letters and how to take care of themselves. But focusing solely on these responsibilities can leave a void where your former self used to thrive.
For many of us, transitioning into SAHM life was a sudden and challenging decision. We often gave up careers because juggling work and parenting proved too difficult due to various factors like childcare costs or personal limits. On the longest, most exhausting days filled with toddler tantrums and endless chores, we dreamed of the day when our children would finally be in school.
That day is a turning point. It’s a chance to reconnect with ourselves. It could mean a trip to Starbucks, a solo shopping spree at Target, or just a moment to breathe. We’re not trying to flaunt our freedom or make working moms feel bad; we’re simply celebrating a moment of clarity after years of fog.
If you’re a working mom feeling a tinge of envy towards a SAHM who gets to enjoy some leisure time, remember that she’s likely been wishing for your busy life, too. Why not invite her for lunch or a shopping outing? She might appreciate the chance to feel human again.
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In summary, the journey of a stay-at-home mom can be challenging yet rewarding. It’s a balance of nurturing your children while also maintaining your identity. So, let’s support each other, regardless of our parenting choices.
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