As we enter the fourth week of soccer season, both my 4-year-old and 11-year-old are participating. Honestly, I’m already feeling overwhelmed. Just last week, we woke up before dawn for a photo shoot where my son was less than enthusiastic, sporting a messy hairstyle reminiscent of a famous mugshot. In our haste to leave, we forgot snacks, leading my children to behave as if they were lost in the wilderness.
I wasn’t faring much better; I was starving, but I refused to blow our budget on overpriced food from the vendors. After a battle for parking, I was not about to leave to find snacks. By the end of the second game, my little one collapsed onto the grass, wailing, “I’m tired! I’m hungry!” At that moment, I felt an intense bond with her.
While it may sound negative, the truth is that kids’ extracurricular activities can be a source of stress and take up a lot of time. With three children, the chaos multiplies, which is why we’ve implemented some ground rules.
One Activity Minimum, One Activity Maximum
First, each child is required to participate in one extracurricular activity—be it a sport, music, or art. I don’t mind what they choose, but they need to be engaged in something; otherwise, they’ll end up on the couch, bored and snacking mindlessly, asking me to entertain them like I’m their personal clown.
Here’s the twist: one activity is the minimum, but it’s also the maximum. Before we had our three children, my son wanted to play both basketball and soccer. Like a softy, I agreed. The overlap lasted one month, and it felt like an eternity. With practices four days a week, our dinner schedule was either 4 p.m. or 9 p.m., and family time, homework, and sleep became distant memories.
The thought of enrolling all three kids in multiple activities felt like signing up for three extra full-time jobs, and honestly, I have a new season of a show I’d like to binge-watch.
Don’t get me wrong; I wholeheartedly support my children in pursuing their passions. However, we have a rule regarding their ambitions: once we commit to one activity, they must honor that commitment before switching to something new. So if one of my kids decides to abandon soccer mid-season because their friends are playing baseball—tough luck. I simply don’t have the time or resources to juggle multiple dreams while one is still in play.
I’ve had quite a few chats with my son about how each season lasts 9 to 12 weeks, and once he accepts a uniform or an instrument, he’s effectively signed a contract that requires him to see it through. This policy has led to some friction, especially when my middle daughter, Mia, wanted to quit ballet for gymnastics two years ago. She had three weeks left of lessons and a recital looming. She protested, dragging her ballet slippers to every class, glaring at me like I was committing a crime. But in the end, she made it through. We enrolled her in gymnastics, but she soon decided she disliked that too and now wants to return to dance (cue the eye roll).
The Importance of Family Time
If you’re nodding along, you may have experienced this scenario firsthand. If not, you might be too busy rushing your kids to various activities to stop and read this post.
Enrolling children in extracurricular activities is beneficial. They learn vital lessons about resilience, teamwork, friendship, and how to handle both victory and defeat—all valuable skills gained from being part of a team. But we also need to carve out time for family connections. I need moments with my spouse, and we need the freedom to visit friends, run errands, and simply relax together. When kids have packed schedules, those essential moments can easily slip away as parents scramble to manage multiple commitments while keeping up with homework and budgeting for activities. Extracurriculars can be pricey!
Moreover, if kids are overcommitted, they often end up too cranky and exhausted to enjoy the family time we finally manage to squeeze in.
This is precisely why our household adheres to the “choose one activity” principle. It’s not because my spouse and I lack parenting skills or aim to squash dreams. We recognize the significance of extracurricular activities while also valuing family time.
Resources for Family Planning
For those interested in family planning, you can find valuable resources on home insemination at Make a Mom. If you’re exploring at-home options, check out Make a Mom’s 18-piece kit for comprehensive support. Additionally, for more insights into pregnancy and home insemination, the NHS offers excellent information that can guide you.
In summary, implementing the ‘pick one activity’ rule helps us strike a balance between the benefits of extracurricular involvement and the essential need for family time.
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