Updated: September 27, 2023
When my daughter, Lily, was just three years old, she came home with a heavy heart, announcing that she would no longer attend her beloved preschool. I was taken aback and asked her why. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she recounted how the teachers had placed a growth chart in the classroom, marking the heights of each child. Her friends were all at the top and middle, while her name lingered at the very bottom with no one else’s name in sight. “I’m the worst because I’m at the bottom,” she lamented. “Everyone is taller and better than me.”
As someone who stands at a proud 5’2” (with the assistance of heels and a well-coiffed hairstyle), I understood her feelings well. I was the shortest in my class growing up, but it never seemed to bother me as much. While I knew early on that basketball wasn’t in my future, I appreciated the perks of being petite, like being the focus of any class photo.
“I hate being called a shrimp,” Lily confided. Instead of dismissing her feelings or telling her to ignore these comments, I decided to empower her by highlighting the advantages of being shorter. For instance, she was the last one to get soaked in the rain, and she excelled at hide-and-seek, easily fitting into the best hiding spots.
Yet every day, I’d hear her complaints, “Today my friends called me peanut, and it made me sad.” The reality is that, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, over 160,000 kids skip school daily to evade bullying. Research shows that such behavior can begin as early as age three, with girls often facing more teasing. The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress highlights the long-lasting psychological effects of bullying, making the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me,” ring hollow. Physical wounds heal, but verbal ones can leave deep scars on a child’s self-esteem.
I didn’t want Lily to become another statistic. While I recognized that the comments made about her height were often innocent or even affectionate, I worried that being labeled as short could undermine her confidence during such a pivotal time in her emotional and social development.
In my quest to find relatable characters for her, I scoured books, movies, and television shows for positive short figures. To my disappointment, I found an abundance of tall characters celebrated for their abilities. For example, Elastigirl from The Incredibles can stretch to great heights to save the day, while Wonder Woman stands six feet tall, serving as an iconic role model for young girls—literally.
Our society often equates privilege and power with height. Numerous studies confirm that taller individuals tend to earn higher salaries, and historically, the tallest men have been favored for leadership roles, with only six out of 45 U.S. presidents being below average height—the last being Jimmy Carter, elected four decades ago.
Reflecting on Lily’s feelings, I recognized she wasn’t alone. Many children who don’t fit society’s conventional standards struggle with similar issues. In today’s world, it’s vital to instill self-confidence and self-worth in our children, particularly in young girls.
I could talk to Lily about the perks of her height until I was blue in the face, but what she truly needed was to learn acceptance. “Focus on being the best version of you, Lily,” I often told her. While I didn’t want to set unrealistic expectations, my approach was straightforward: encourage her to stop comparing herself to others—physically, socially, or academically—and concentrate on her own journey.
I won’t sugarcoat it; shifting her mindset was challenging. However, as I modeled this behavior, Lily began to take cues from me. She observed my morning routines, and I realized I sometimes emphasized the need for heels when preparing for important events. Though I never believed height dictated confidence, I was inadvertently teaching her otherwise. Now, at 35, I’m working to level the playing field in my own mindset.
We never discussed growth hormones with our pediatrician, but both Lily and her younger sister, Mia, would likely qualify for FDA-approved synthetic growth hormone treatments. While this may be the right choice for some families, we chose not to go down that path. I firmly believe that if I can help Lily embrace her uniqueness from a young age, she’ll never view her height as a disadvantage.
Do you have a young daughter or son who is considered “too short” by societal standards? Engage them in conversations about self-acceptance, highlight their strengths, and celebrate their individuality. Did you know that shorter individuals can achieve greater “rotational acceleration?” This means they often excel in sports like gymnastics, skating, and diving. Although Lily may be a few inches below the growth curve for her age, my hope is that she will flourish in confidence and stand tall, knowing she is worthy of life’s best experiences and opportunities, regardless of her size.
For further insights on navigating parenting and self-acceptance, consider checking out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination. You might also find useful information on self-insemination at Make A Mom. They provide excellent products for families considering home insemination, such as the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo.
In summary, teaching our children to embrace their differences and build self-confidence is crucial in a society that often values conformity. By focusing on acceptance and celebrating individuality, we can help our children navigate the challenges of growing up.
Leave a Reply