I’ve spent some time contemplating how to start this conversation, and I realize that what I truly desire is for you to be here with me, sharing a warm cup of tea in my cozy living room. I want to look into your eyes as I express these thoughts, to hold your hand and embrace you in a way that conveys the depth of my feelings.
While I’m not typically one for hugs, my heart is open to you and to everyone who has been through this experience. I’m reaching out because we share something profound—something that connects us in a way that many may not understand. We’ve both faced the reality of making a choice about abortion.
Though we’ve walked different paths, our experiences align in a unique way. I’m not here to scrutinize your journey, nor to weigh our pains against one another. My purpose is simply to offer you love and understanding. You are seen, and your feelings about the choice you made are valid, regardless of the time that has passed since that moment.
Let’s Start with This Truth
You are a good person. Abortion doesn’t define you as bad or flawed; rather, it’s a part of your journey. You are filled with kindness and light. I once had a friend transform my perspective with a single statement. When I referred to the “less desirable parts of my life,” she gently corrected me by saying, “Every aspect of your journey belongs here; none of it is unworthy.” That sentiment has stayed with me, and it’s what I want you to carry with you: your entire story is welcome here.
If Your Abortion Brought You Relief
I see you. There’s no need for apologies or explanations for how you feel. Embrace your relief, and remember the reasons that led you to that choice. You deserve to enjoy your life and pursue the path you’ve set for yourself.
If You’re Grappling with Grief
I see you too. The weight of sorrow can be heavy, especially when society fails to acknowledge it. If you’ve ever felt undeserving of that grief, know that you have every right to mourn. This is a loss, and how you process it is entirely yours to determine. You don’t need to justify your feelings—allow yourself the space to cry and to feel deeply.
If Regret Weighs on You
I see you as well. When someone says, “No regrets,” it doesn’t magically erase the pain you feel. I won’t tell you to move on or dismiss your feelings. Regret is a valid emotion, but please remember to forgive yourself. You did what you thought was best at that time. Love the version of you that made that choice and the you that exists today. Both are deserving of compassion.
If Shame Has Crept into Your Heart
Know that I hurt for you. Shame is not a reflection of your character. It thrives in secrecy and judgment, and unfortunately, abortion often creates an environment ripe for those feelings. However, we know that sharing our stories and receiving empathy can dissolve that shame.
Consider how often you’ve felt able to share your experience openly. I’m sorry for the times you’ve felt silenced or judged. You deserve to speak your truth without fear of repercussion. When those negative voices echo in your mind, let my words drown them out: you are worthy, loved, and beautiful. You are a gift, not a burden.
It’s Okay to Feel a Mix of Emotions
Whether your abortion was a straightforward decision or a complex one, it’s okay. Even if you feel a mix of emotions or none at all, you don’t have to bear these feelings alone. Let’s carry them together. You can give your experience a voice, whether through writing, sharing, or just whispering your thoughts aloud.
I’m Here for You
If you need a space to express yourself, I’m here for you. I genuinely mean it. How can I support you? I care deeply, and I want us to cultivate a friendship rooted in safety and understanding. In this space, we can share laughter, tears, and even moments of silence.
You are invited into this community. You and your experience are embraced here. Every facet of your story is welcome, and none of it is shameful. Come join us.
Additional Resources
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In Summary
You are not alone in your feelings about your abortion. Whatever emotions you’re navigating—relief, grief, regret, or shame—are all valid. You have a support system here, and I encourage you to share your story, whether that’s through conversation, writing, or simply reflecting in silence. Your experience is welcomed and cherished.
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