After navigating the whirlwind of four pregnancies over six and a half years, I’ve experienced growth in numerous ways:
- Physical Transformation: I’ve fluctuated by 140 pounds total, averaging about 35 pounds per pregnancy, with some cravings leaning more towards chocolate and nachos than others.
- Coolness Overboard: My cool factor took a nosedive the moment we bought a minivan—something I previously vowed never to do because of my perception that only ‘nerds’ drive them.
- Letting Go of Control: Coordinated outfits for my children? Forget it. Ain’t nobody got time for that level of planning.
- Mastering Adaptability: I’ve become an expert problem-solver for situations I once deemed impossible—like managing broken limbs (three so far), dealing with the seemingly endless colds of a newborn (lost count after twelve), or forgetting essential items like a Pack ‘n Play on overnight trips. No big deal; life carries on.
If you’re contemplating the adventure of having four kids, here’s what you can expect:
- The Stares: When you venture out with your entire crew, prepare for bewildered looks—as if you have seven heads. The other day, I took my kids to a doctor’s appointment, and within an hour, I was asked four times if all these kids were mine. Yes, dear onlooker, this delightful circus is all mine. Common comments include, “That’s a lot of kids!” and “Did you plan this?”
- Memory Like a Goldfish: Life with four kids feels like a real-life version of Memento. Picture this: my brain operates like a web browser with approximately 462 tabs open. Did I remember to pay the phone bill? Is it Wednesday? When did the baby last eat? As I juggle these thoughts, the kids are clamoring for attention like pop-up ads, and some details inevitably slip through the cracks—like remembering to text my mom back.
- Morning Mayhem: Getting out of the house every morning resembles a scene from Jumanji. Just last week, my partner, Mike, had to manage all four kids solo for the first time. When I returned to switch cars, he calmly remarked, “Yeah, that was wild.” Imagine the chaos: a crying baby, a toddler sitting on the baby, and a five-year-old who can’t figure out how to put on his shoes despite my elaborate instructions.
- Nail Clipping Olympics: After I clip my nails and tackle my kids’ nails, I realize I’ve just clipped 100 nails. It’s a labor-intensive process, but I could definitely see it becoming our family band name someday.
- Privacy? What’s That?: Gone are the days of peaceful showers. Just the other morning, I rushed through a three-minute shower while a little one stood outside asking if I was done yet to show me a trick. Spoiler alert: the trick was jumping over a small blanket.
- Cooking for Critics: With four picky eaters at the table, I’ve learned that it’s nearly impossible to prepare a meal that pleases everyone. My strategy? Teach them that critical comments about dinner might just lead to skipping the meal entirely. I’m trying to create a rule: positive responses only!
- Bath Time Frequency: You may notice that your kids get bathed less often than when you had one or two. I’ve heard that some moms of four go several days without a bath for their kids. I mean, who can blame them? Sometimes sanity takes precedence over cleanliness.
- The Love Multiplication: Despite the comments from strangers about my reproductive choices and the daily chaos, every time I bring home another baby, I am amazed at my capacity to love. At the end of the day, as I unwind with a glass of wine and snack on popcorn while binge-watching Netflix with Mike, I reflect on our chaotic yet fulfilling life. If I could plan it all over again, maybe I’d just add a personal chef to the mix!
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In summary, raising four kids is a wild ride filled with challenges, love, and laughter. The chaos may be overwhelming at times, but the joy they bring makes it all worthwhile.
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