“I know I sound crazy,” she admitted as we sat together at the local skating rink, watching our daughters twirl and laugh. After months of trying to coordinate schedules, we finally managed to get our girls together. The reason for her hectic schedule? Her family of five was juggling an astonishing nine extracurricular activities.
She explained how each of her three children was enrolled in three different sports simultaneously, leaving their weeks and weekends jam-packed with practice sessions and games. Despite having just moved into a lovely new home complete with a pool and a spacious yard for soccer, she lamented, “We hardly have time to enjoy it.”
I shared our family’s approach, which is quite the opposite. Our four kids participate in just one activity at a time, and often we find ourselves with free weekends. Her reaction echoed a familiar refrain I hear often.
She reveled in her busy lifestyle—spending hours in her SUV, loaded with coolers of snacks and sports gear. Yet, she was also exhausted, clutching a large coffee and wishing for more time to pursue other interests. “Homework doesn’t start until 9 p.m. most nights,” she confessed, noting that she couldn’t recall the last time she and her husband had a moment to themselves. They joked about rekindling their relationship once the kids left for college.
Weekends? They were even more chaotic than weekdays, filled with out-of-town baseball tournaments. On the rare weekends they stayed home, they faced marathon practices on Sundays, alongside school projects that she sometimes had to finish herself due to her kids’ fatigue. They also squeezed in music lessons and tutoring, often early Saturday mornings.
Listening to her, I could almost feel the exhaustion wash over me. Like many parents, she seemed to equate busyness with being a good parent, believing that multiple activities would guarantee smarter, faster, and more accomplished kids. But I started to wonder—while we all want our children to be well-rounded and engaged, at what cost?
Could teamwork, commitment, self-discipline, and confidence be fostered in less stressful and less expensive ways? I believe it’s possible. At least, that’s my hope.
Our choice to limit our children’s extracurricular involvement is undoubtedly unconventional. I understand it’s not the norm, but with the growing evidence of the negative effects of overscheduling, I feel confident in our decision.
When she paused to take a sip of her coffee, the mom asked how we filled our free time. I explained that we prioritize free play, creativity, and quality family moments. Our Friday nights are reserved for buttery popcorn and the latest family-friendly film. Saturday mornings are pancake mornings, where my husband and the kids whip up breakfast while I enjoy a lie-in. After that, we might play basketball, ride bikes, or host friends for dinner. Sundays are for church, followed by home projects or family relaxation.
In essence, our weekends belong to us. They aren’t dictated by coaches or tutors. We don’t punch anyone else’s clock.
Now, don’t think my kids are living in isolation. My oldest daughter is in ballet, with one forty-five-minute class weekly. My second daughter transitioned from basketball to drum lessons, which are just a half-hour long each week. My six-year-old son is about to start a five-week ninja warrior class on Saturday afternoons, while my toddler’s extracurricular involves trailing after her siblings. I steer clear of Mommy-and-Me classes; that’s just not my style.
While our lifestyle might seem mundane compared to the jam-packed schedules of other families, the reality is that we enjoy a peaceful, happy, and creative family life. We cherish our no-alarm-clock Saturdays and our spontaneous fort-building sessions on Sundays. Summers are filled with hours of swimming, music, and popsicles shared with friends.
With only a handful of years to raise my children, I value these unstructured, non-adult-driven moments immensely. They’re crucial for creating lasting memories as a family and appreciating the beauty of simply being together. In many ways, this is the ultimate adventure.
Of course, this lifestyle isn’t for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m not preoccupied with my kids’ college applications or whether they can play the piano by age four. For us, running through the sprinkler is more our speed, and my kids are perfectly content with that.
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In summary, our family embraces a simpler, more relaxed lifestyle centered around creativity and quality time together—not defined by a frantic schedule of extracurricular activities.
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