Let’s Emphasize Safe Bed-Sharing Instead of Criticizing Nursing Moms

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After the arrival of my first child, I found myself grappling with the safety of bed-sharing. On one hand, my pediatrician and The Academy of American Pediatrics warned against it, citing increased risks of suffocation. Conversely, as a breastfeeding mother, I was bombarded with information from various organizations claiming that breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDS and that sharing a bed could facilitate that process.

In reality, it wasn’t about what was deemed best; it was about survival. My baby needed to eat frequently, often during the night. The only way I could manage was to nurse him in bed, learning to latch him on in the dark—a true lifesaver.

Being a safety enthusiast, I made it a point to research safe bed-sharing practices (more on that shortly) and adhered to them diligently. Yet, I often felt like I was doing something wrong. When my pediatrician inquired about my baby’s sleeping arrangements, I hesitated to admit that he often slept in bed with me, masking the truth by saying he was in the crib beside us. That crib, however, was usually piled high with laundry, not a sleeping baby.

Now, as a lactation consultant advising other moms on breastfeeding and sleep methods, I’ve come to realize that instead of instilling fear about bed-sharing, we should focus on educating parents about how to do it safely and minimize risks. This perspective is supported by Dr. Sarah Thompson, a pediatric expert, who recently wrote a compelling piece on the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine’s blog that aligns with my views. “We need to create ‘safe nighttime feeding spaces’ instead of treating safe sleep and breastfeeding recommendations as separate issues,” Dr. Thompson argues. “Moms are going to fall asleep while feeding, whether they plan to or not, so let’s make those moments as safe as possible.”

Indeed, consider this: many parents may not realize that dozing off with a baby on a couch or armchair can be dangerous as they risk being wedged between cushions. If new moms are merely told, “Do not bed-share at all,” they might end up exhausted and inadvertently fall asleep in unsafe locations rather than moving to a properly arranged bed.

Other factors like consuming alcohol or sedative medications, smoking near the baby, or sharing the bed with someone under the influence also heighten the risks associated with bed-sharing. If parents are only informed that bed-sharing is never permissible, they might neglect to take necessary precautions to ensure their baby’s safety.

It’s crucial to acknowledge the realities of newborn parenting and the overwhelming fatigue that comes with it. Rather than categorically banning bed-sharing, we should aim for safe practices.

Safe Bed-Sharing Guidelines

So, are you ready to learn about safe bed-sharing? Dr. Thompson provides an easy way to remember the guidelines, using the letter “F.”

Here are the “Fs” of safe sleep, according to Dr. Thompson:

• First, your baby should be Face-up on a Flat, Firm mattress.
• Your bed must be Free of any excess items: pillows, soft bedding, or anything that may cover your baby’s head.
• Safe bed-sharing is most effective if your baby is Feeding on breastmilk only.
• Your bed should be Free of anyone else (in my case, the baby slept between me and a bedrail while my partner remained in the bed, but away from the baby).
• You must be Fully aware and not under the influence of any medications or substances.
• The air should be Fresh (no tobacco and keep it cool).
• Ensure your baby is Fully vaccinated.

Additionally, Dr. Thompson advises against sleeping with your baby on a couch or armchair, especially if your baby is ill or premature, without consulting a doctor first. For more information on safe sleep practices, check out La Leche League’s comprehensive guidelines.

It’s important to note that while bed-sharing carries some risks, discussing your concerns with a trusted healthcare provider can help mitigate them significantly. And let’s be honest: even if full-time bed-sharing isn’t your goal, there will be moments when you may doze off while nursing, so having a plan for doing it safely is essential.

Now, go ahead and snuggle up with your little one—those cozy moments are fleeting.

Summary

This article emphasizes the importance of safe bed-sharing practices for nursing mothers instead of shaming them for it. The author shares personal experiences and expert recommendations on how to create a safe environment for bed-sharing while recognizing the practical realities of new motherhood. The focus should be on educating parents about safe practices to minimize risks, ensuring that both mother and baby can enjoy those tender moments together.