For the first four decades of my life, I never really thought about using a sex toy. I had no issues reaching orgasm, either alone or with my partner, so I questioned the necessity. To be completely honest, the thought of introducing a non-human object into my intimate moments felt a bit odd. If I wanted something cold and unfamiliar inside me, I’d just schedule a visit to my gynecologist. No thanks.
I can imagine that those of you who regularly enjoy sex toys might find my perspective puzzling. After all, what’s the big deal? But after 40 years of satisfying sexual experiences without toys, the idea of adding something new seemed unnecessary—and, frankly, like a hassle. My internal dialogue often echoed, “I’m too old for that nonsense.”
Yet, this very mindset became my motivation to give it a shot. As I age, I’ve noticed that I tend to become more set in my ways. I hesitate to try new things, meet new people, or even venture into the realm of vibrators. This is not the kind of middle-aged woman I aspire to be.
So, shortly after turning 41, I decided to welcome some new companions into my life—courtesy of a few gifts meant for review. The first was the Sona by Lelo, a clitoral stimulator that looked as if it could double as a stylish mini back massager.
Next up was the Soraya, another Lelo product, marketed as a “rabbit vibrator” designed to stimulate both the clitoris and the G-spot simultaneously.
Lastly, I received the Crescendo, a versatile vibe that can be bent into various shapes for solo or partner use and targets the clitoris and G-spot simultaneously if molded just right.
Admittedly, it took me a while to muster the courage to unpack these gadgets. I’m a bit of a technophobe, and the idea of charging them and connecting them to my phone (a feature with the Crescendo) was daunting. Plus, where would I charge them without my curious kids discovering them? That aspect added a layer of stress that was decidedly unsexy.
Eventually, I enlisted my husband to handle the “charging of the sex toys” task, which is a bit ironic and undeniably sexist, but it was necessary to get started.
The first device I tried was the Sona. I used it with my husband, and while it was fun, it soon became irritating. I couldn’t quite figure out the right setting; the pressure was either too light or too intense, despite the many modes available. Even when I tried it solo, I found that using my own hands, which I had always done, was far more gratifying. Relaxation is crucial for a good orgasm, and I just couldn’t achieve that with the Sona.
The Crescendo yielded similar results. It wasn’t effective for clitoral stimulation, though I could see it being appealing for those who prefer localized stimulation rather than full penetration. It just didn’t do much for me.
Now, you might think I’m a total failure in the sex toy department. However, I had better luck with the Soraya! I used it while masturbating a couple of times, and it was actually quite enjoyable. I did have to adjust the clitoral stimulator, which was slightly annoying, but the G-spot stimulator hit all the right notes. As someone who often craves more vaginal stimulation during self-pleasure, this toy delivered perfectly.
Will I use it again? Possibly. As a busy working mom, my opportunities for self-care are few and fleeting, and I’m not sure I’ll remember to charge it. The chore of cleaning it afterward—though simple—doesn’t exactly inspire excitement either.
That being said, I did find the Soraya delightful enough to appear in one of my recent dreams, which I thought was rather charming. Perhaps I’m warming up to the idea of incorporating it into my routine, transforming it from a mere object into a companion, which is ultimately what it’s designed for.
In the end, my experience wasn’t a total win, but it was enlightening. I learned that finding the right sex toy can take some trial and error, and that preferences vary widely. I had assumed I would prefer clitoral stimulators, given that most of my friends rave about them, but that wasn’t the case for me.
Most importantly, I discovered that trying new experiences—even those involving intimate toys—is beneficial for an “older lady” like me, and something I should embrace more often.
For those interested in exploring home insemination, check out this resource on IVF. It’s also worth noting the simplicity of using an at-home insemination kit for those considering self-insemination, and for a comprehensive guide, the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit provides an excellent option.
Summary
In my 40s, I explored the world of vibrators for the first time, challenging my long-held beliefs about sex toys. While my initial experiences were mixed, particularly with clitoral stimulators, I found success with the Soraya and learned the importance of trying new things. This journey has encouraged me to embrace change, even in the realm of intimacy.
Leave a Reply