Pregnancy can be a beautiful journey, but there are certain things that can easily rile up an expectant mother. While we can shower them with compliments, sometimes it’s amusing to stir the pot a little. If you’re looking to get under the skin of a pregnant woman, here are some guaranteed ways to do just that.
-
Relate Your Birth Experience
No one really wants to hear about your traumatic birth saga, but that shouldn’t stop you! Follow her around with all the grisly details, and don’t forget to ask if she’s feeling anxious about it. If she brushes you off, simply insist that she should be scared. A little talk about your episiotomy should do the trick. -
Offer Naming Suggestions
Chances are she and her partner are deep in thought about baby names, so why not throw your two cents in? Come up with something ridiculous like “Captain Crunch” and shout it at her belly. Lean into the last name to really sell it! -
Make Comments About Her Size
If she’s looking large, ask if she’s sure there’s only one in there or if she’s due soon. On the flip side, if she appears smaller, question where she’s hiding the baby or joke about her just having eaten a grape. This can raise unnecessary worries—double whammy! -
Dampen Her Enthusiasm
If she’s enjoying herself, jump in with, “Just wait until the baby arrives!” Clearly, she needs a reminder that babies can be a handful. Make sure she’s not too excited about her future. -
Critique Her Choices
It’s astonishing how she’s made it this far, right? Make it your mission to critique her diet and lifestyle choices. A disapproving look when she sips coffee will surely send her a message that you’re concerned about her parenting skills. -
Inquire About Her Conception Story
Especially if you’re not close, asking if her pregnancy was planned is a classic move. A question like, “You do know how that happens, right?” will undoubtedly make her squirm and highlight her intimate life. -
Probe About the Baby’s Gender
If she reveals the sex, casually ask if she’s disappointed it’s not the other one. If she’s keeping it a surprise, feign shock and imply she must not care about knowing her baby. -
Ask About Conception Methods
Nothing says “I don’t know you” quite like asking if she conceived naturally, particularly in front of strangers. This will force her to disclose personal details, and if she’s offended, just claim you were only joking about her hormones. -
Express Surprise at Her Pregnancy Duration
As her due date approaches, greet her with comments like, “Are you STILL pregnant?” or “Isn’t it time for that baby to come out?” It’s a nice way to remind her of the impending delivery without being subtle. -
Invade Her Personal Space
Just walk right up and rub her belly without permission. Make some weird noises while doing it, and if that doesn’t get her going, try talking into her belly button as if it were a microphone. If the baby doesn’t respond, suggest she consult her doctor.
Good luck with these!
For those interested in learning more about pregnancy and family-building options, check out this excellent resource. Also, if you’re curious about fertility, this link provides great insights. And for home insemination kits, here’s a trusted source to check out.
Summary
This humorous take on annoying behaviors during pregnancy outlines ten surefire ways to frustrate an expectant mother, from sharing traumatic birth stories to invading personal space. Each point highlights common pitfalls that can upset pregnant women, often with a comedic twist.
Leave a Reply