Hailing from a small town, Jamie’s debut album soared to No. 8 on the Billboard charts in 2006, with the catchy single “For You I Will” peaking at No. 10 on the Top 40. Jamie also made appearances in the TV series Love Monkey and the film The Rocker, becoming a teen sensation. Recently, Jamie has penned hits for stars like Shawn Mendes, Maroon 5, and Christina Aguilera. Notably, Jamie received a Grammy nomination for Song of the Year for co-writing “In My Blood,” performed by Shawn Mendes.
The phone call came just as my partner and I were gearing up for a two-week adventure in Sicily to explore my family roots. It was Jamie on the line, and I could instantly tell something was amiss.
Really amiss.
In September 2017, Jamie was about to turn 29 and was living in Los Angeles, but we maintained close communication. We had stayed connected through Jamie’s rise to fame in the early 2000s and during the quieter phases of their music career. Recently, however, Jamie had been battling stomach issues, nausea, and anxiety. I was disheartened to discover that Jamie had resorted to heavy smoking—both cigarettes and marijuana—as a coping mechanism, which clearly wasn’t helping. The anxiety was intensifying, leading to obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
“Hey, Mom?” Jamie’s voice sounded small and defeated.
Just those two words told me everything. In that moment, I sensed Jamie had hit a breaking point. The pain, despair, and lack of hope in Jamie’s voice were unmistakable. The rest of the conversation confirmed my worst fears.
I knew I had to delay our trip. I reached out to “Jamie’s Team,” and together we sought a program and facility where Jamie could confront these issues. It turned out, Jamie had been moving toward this moment for some time.
Feeling assured that Jamie was in good hands, my partner and I set off for Palermo. We enjoyed our trip, but three days before heading home, I was eager to return to our villa because it marked the first call Jamie could make.
While my partner browsed the travel guide for dinner options, I took my cellphone and settled in the ornate baroque parlor, sinking into the plush sofa.
My mind was racing with questions: How’s the facility? What are the programs like? Most importantly, how was Jamie handling everything?
“Hey, Bud!” I exclaimed. “It’s so good to hear your voice! How are you?!”
“I’m good, Mom… really good. How’s Sicily?” Jamie asked, and I detected a clarity in Jamie’s voice that I hadn’t heard in years.
“I’m good,” I answered, but my thoughts were racing.
“Mom?” Jamie sensed my distraction.
“Yes! I’m here, Bud.”
“Hey Mom, I need to tell you something.”
My heart raced. What could it be? Jamie sounded so much more present, free from the haze of substances.
“Mom?” Jamie’s steady voice pulled me from my thoughts.
“Yes? …”
“Mom, I’ve always believed…I am a woman. Mom, I am a woman.”
Silence enveloped us.
“Mom?”
There was no air in the room or in my lungs.
“Mom?”
“Please don’t say that again,” I thought. I wanted to respond, to say anything, but I felt paralyzed. I finally managed a soft, broken whisper, “OK.” It was neither a question nor a statement; it felt as if it came from someone else entirely.
Time stood still.
Finally, I spoke again, “OK. I’m just not sure what to say, Honey. I had no idea you felt this way…”
“I know,” Jamie replied. “I made sure you never knew.”
How could I have missed this? I felt like a terrible mother.
“Teddy, when did you start to feel this way?”
“As far back as I can remember… definitely around 5. I just kept quiet about it out of shame. I thought I was alone in this.”
My heart sank as I realized the weight Jamie had carried alone. It was a moment filled with gratitude that Jamie had found the courage to open up.
“Mom, I love you. I know this is a lot to take in. One of the group sessions is starting, so I have to go. We can talk more when you’re back in the states, OK?”
“OK,” I replied, my heart heavy but full of love.
After hanging up, I sat there, cellphone in hand, overwhelmed. My partner asked, “How’s Jamie doing?”
I shook my head, completely at a loss for words.
Eventually, I managed to say, “Jamie is a woman.”
When I returned from Sicily, reality hit hard. One night, waves of grief and confusion washed over me. Motherhood had always felt instinctive, but now I questioned everything. I cried for the past and the future, and when the tears dried, I took a deep breath, realizing it was time to move forward.
The next morning, I sought guidance from a counselor, but struggled to articulate my feelings. The therapist dismissed my concerns, suggesting it was just a phase. I couldn’t believe it.
Determined to find the right support, I researched therapists specializing in transgender issues. I knew very little about the transitioning process. I turned to the internet, discovering resources on transgender and family support, which helped illuminate Jamie’s world.
I also reached out to local organizations for assistance, worrying about how society would perceive Jamie.
Jamie asked me to tell my other children, Alex and Rachel, who both rallied around Jamie in support. However, explaining to my elderly parents was challenging. While my mother was accepting, my father struggled, heartbroken for the pain Jamie might face.
On October 27, 2017, I received a text from a friend alerting me to Jamie’s public announcement about transitioning. My heart raced—how could Jamie have shared this without informing me first?
My phone buzzed with messages as the news spread globally.
“Mom, relax. it’s all good,” Jamie reassured me.
This past Thanksgiving, my three adult children and I celebrated together, marking a year since Jamie began her transition.
To learn more about at-home insemination kits, you can visit Make A Mom. For further information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out ASRM.
In summary, Jamie’s journey of self-discovery and the challenges faced by our family highlighted the importance of understanding and acceptance. It was a transformative experience, guiding us all toward a more compassionate connection.
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