Fifteen years ago, my partner and I exchanged vows. Now, after nearly two decades together, it feels surreal to realize how much time has passed. I was just a tender 22 when we first crossed paths; looking back, it’s fascinating to think he’s been a part of my life for almost as long as he wasn’t.
Sure, I could wax poetic about love at first sight, call him my best friend, and toss around the term “soul mate” while posting pictures with #soblessed. But let’s be real: it wasn’t love at first sight—at least not in the fairy-tale sense—and #soblessed often feels more like #sofake. Yes, he is my best friend, but that title comes with a whole lot more: partner, lover, supporter, and a source of constant heart-eye emojis.
Our love story, like any other, is a blend of the remarkable and the mundane. The highlights? Law school classes, burritos, drinks, a late-night hatchback drive, and endless debates about what constitutes a first date. The longer version involves years of dating, navigating the ups and downs, engaging in minor disasters, falling in love repeatedly, and ultimately realizing he is the person I want to bicker with over the thermostat and research minivans alongside.
When we vowed to share our lives together, we had no clue what that truly entailed. How could we, being starry-eyed twenty-somethings? Yet, therein lies the beauty of marrying young: we didn’t just grow old together; we grew up together. We learned what it meant to truly do life side by side.
And sometimes, if you’re fortunate, you discover that the person you chose as The One is even more incredible than you ever imagined. All those years ago, when we said “I Do,” we were blissfully unaware of the twists and turns ahead. We had no idea how unconventional our life would become or how much we would evolve as individuals—thankfully, in ways that complemented each other.
We faced challenges like miscarriages and illnesses, experienced the heartache of losing our first furry family member, and witnessed our son’s tears on the baseball field. We spent countless hours discussing how to fold towels—yes, there’s a right way. Honestly, we had no idea what we were getting into.
And now? I still don’t know what lies ahead. I have no crystal ball to predict how we’ll continue to change or what joyous peaks and sorrowful valleys we’ll navigate. But you know what? I’m genuinely glad we didn’t know. The unpredictability of it all has turned into one of the greatest joys of my life.
I can’t offer any guarantees on what makes some marriages succeed while others falter. My guess is it’s a blend of hard work, compassion, and all the wisdom the “experts” throw around, combined with love, a sprinkle of luck, and an element that feels like magic. Plus, it helps to be married to someone respectful and trustworthy.
I don’t have profound insights or foolproof advice; we’re still figuring it out ourselves. After 15 years of marriage—20 years as a couple—it sometimes feels like we’ve only just begun. Let’s face it, we still have plenty of growing up to do!
What I do know is that, come what may, there is no one else I’d rather face the future with than him. And that certainty is more than enough.
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Summary
Reflecting on my marriage, I realize how little I understood about it when I said “I do” at 22. Over the years, my partner and I have navigated life’s ups and downs together, growing both as a couple and individuals. While we may not have known what to expect, the journey has been filled with joy, challenges, and profound love.
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