Navigating My Anxiety and the Fear of Passing It to My Kids

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Anxiety has been a part of my life since I was a teenager. For far too long, I mistook it for mere stress, attributing my unease to various life events—be it important tests, family health concerns, or the chaos of daily life. Although I sought therapy on a few occasions, the focus was primarily on specific issues rather than understanding the broader patterns of my anxiety.

It wasn’t until I had my second child at thirty that I recognized the depth of my struggles. The chaos of managing two young kids left me feeling utterly overwhelmed. Simple tasks, like going down the stairs with both children, became daunting; I constantly worried about accidents. If my girls weren’t asleep by 7:30 PM, I blamed myself, feeling furious at them and at my own perceived failures.

Eventually, I acknowledged that this cycle was unhealthy—not just for me, but for my daughters as well. This realization prompted me to return to therapy, where I was finally diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). This condition means I tend to worry incessantly, even when there’s no real cause for concern.

For the past two and a half years, I have been dedicated to managing this mental health challenge. I’ve maintained therapy sessions, established essential boundaries, embraced yoga, and even started taking anti-anxiety medication. Yet, the reality is, I still wake up feeling stressed before I even open my eyes. Some days, I find myself battling that familiar, racing heart in the middle of my chest. It’s frustrating, but I’m learning to accept that anxiety may be a lifelong companion. Instead of resisting it, I’m gradually learning to breathe through the discomfort.

However, what truly terrifies me is the thought of my children experiencing the same struggles. The genetic component of GAD is not lost on me. After reconnecting with my own father a few years ago, I discovered that he, along with his father, faced significant anxiety issues. Now, I worry that I’ve passed those genes on to my three lovely kids, a reality I can’t change.

Just this morning, while preparing to leave for work, my thoughts drifted to the possibility of my children dealing with anxiety. I considered their unique personalities and wondered which of them might be most affected by this pervasive fear. As I drove my eldest, a cheerful kindergartner, to school, I thanked her for reminding me to take my medication. She suggested I create a daily chart to track it, and I was taken aback by her problem-solving skills at just five years old.

After dropping her off, I felt my anxiety spike as she struggled to exit the car. I worried about inconveniencing others in the school drop-off line. I tried to mask my stress from her, but my heart raced at the sight of a security officer, a reminder of the world we live in today.

As I continued my commute, I couldn’t shake the thought: I don’t want this for my children. I fought back tears, as is my habit, but I also reflected on how differently I’m raising them compared to my own upbringing.

Strategies for Raising Emotionally Aware Children

  1. Encouraging Emotional Awareness: When my two-year-old son expresses anger, I acknowledge it by saying, “You sound really frustrated!” When he’s joyful, I celebrate with him: “You’re so excited!”
  2. Owning My Emotions: If I raise my voice, I don’t deflect blame. Instead, I acknowledge my mistake: “You’re right, I shouldn’t have yelled, sweetheart.”
  3. Teaching Coping Strategies: When my kids are upset, I don’t resort to yelling. I sit with them, make eye contact, and guide them through deep breathing: “Breathe in, breathe out. Let’s do this together.”
  4. Modeling Self-Care: My children witness me prioritize my well-being through activities like yoga and healthy eating.

By implementing these strategies, I’m helping my children with anxiety in two significant ways. First, my emotional regulation creates a healthier environment for them, which may decrease the likelihood of them growing up anxious. Perhaps more importantly, if they do face anxiety, they will have the tools to navigate it. In some ways, I’m even grateful for my anxiety. It has driven me to learn coping skills that I can now pass on to my kids. I just hope it’s enough.

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Summary

In my journey with anxiety, I’ve navigated the challenges of parenting while managing my mental health. Through therapy, self-care, and emotional awareness, I strive to create a nurturing environment for my children, hoping to break the cycle of anxiety and equip them with the tools to cope should they face similar struggles.


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