Once upon a time, I had a vibrant circle of friends. I wasn’t exactly the “popular” type, but it wasn’t uncommon to find a group of us lounging in someone’s living room, our laughter filling the space. We were energetic, spontaneous, and full of dreams.
Back then, hanging out was as easy as calling out to a friend or hopping on a bike. “What’s up?” someone would ask. “Nothing,” was almost always the answer.
Now, that same question would be met with a long list of responsibilities and obligations. The idea of having “nothing” to do seems almost laughable. Spontaneity? What’s that?
Meeting up nowadays requires extensive planning—days, weeks, or sometimes even months in advance. And even then, it feels a bit chaotic, as if we’re sneaking away from our responsibilities just to grab a few hours of friendship.
These days, friendships are quieter, softer, and often more profound. Yet, they can also feel more challenging.
In our younger years, friendship was as simple as a quick text saying, “I’ve got some wine, and I’m on my way.” I miss those carefree days, where conversations could meander for hours because there was nothing pulling us away. I miss sharing clothes and gossiping about our favorite shows without a care in the world.
Now that life is busier—filled with partners and kids who depend on us—friendship often takes a backseat. It’s harder to maintain those connections when late-night gatherings are tricky with dinner to cook, homework to help with, and an early wake-up call looming.
So our circles get smaller, and our friendships evolve as we do. As we grow up, we become different people, and our priorities shift. We start to realize that the person we were back then isn’t necessarily who we are now or who we aspire to be. Our patience for nonsense dwindles, and we find ourselves rejecting superficial relationships. We crave authenticity—real friends or none at all.
This can be isolating, especially when those genuine friends aren’t just a quick walk down the hall anymore.
Honestly, I don’t want a multitude of mediocre friends. I seek companions with whom I can cry and share my deepest fears and hopes without being dismissed as “ridiculous.” I want friends who understand why I need to leave a party early without judgment. I want people who remember my past but appreciate who I am today. I want friends with whom I can be utterly genuine, even when things get a bit uncomfortable or messy.
I need friends who notice when I go quiet because life feels overwhelming and confusing, who understand that sometimes I’m too tired to explain. I want those who know that peanut butter (not caramel, peanut butter) Twix bars can lift spirits. I need friends who invite me—along with my rambunctious kids—over for pizza when my partner is away.
I want friends who sincerely ask, “How are you REALLY doing?” and who won’t accept a simple “fine” as an answer because we know that life is rarely just fine. I want to share laughter and tears with people who understand the chaos of raising tweens and teens and can relate when I say, “I cried in my car today.”
I want friends I can count on to pick up my kids from practice when I’m running late, or who will ask me to look after their pets while they’re away. I want those who send me chocolates when I experience loss and who can confide in me about their struggles. I want to share a plate of nachos and talk about everything and nothing.
I want friends who are honest enough to steer me away from regrettable decisions and brave enough to join me on wild adventures that I might regret if I don’t take. I desire authentic relationships filled with mutual concern and care.
I’m done with lukewarm, half-hearted, or fake friendships. I want the real deal—nothing more, nothing less.
If you’re navigating similar feelings, consider exploring resources on friendship and connection, such as this article on fertility treatment and this guide on boosting fertility supplements for more insights.
In summary, as life becomes more complex, we crave genuine connections over superficial ones. It’s time to focus on nurturing friendships that truly matter.
Leave a Reply