When I’m out with my teenage son, it’s not uncommon for him to need to use the restroom—sometimes I do too! Back in the day when he was little, no one batted an eye when I brought him along to the women’s restroom. In fact, he was often just one of many young boys accompanying their moms. Honestly, I didn’t mind; I was focused on my own needs, not on their little boys.
However, as he’s grown, I’ve found myself in a bit of a dilemma. I mean, how dare he grow taller and start looking like a young man! I miss the days when he was that adorable toddler in a onesie, stomping around like Godzilla in his chunky white shoes. Now, I find myself followed into public bathrooms by my lanky 5-foot-4 teen, complete with hairy legs and a voice that’s deepening by the minute!
Why, you ask? Because there’s no way I’m sending him into most restrooms alone. I’ve even started planning my errands around places that have single-stall restrooms, allowing me to send him in without worry. Let’s face it: I need to go too, and I’m not keen on the idea of him being left alone while I dash to another bathroom—especially since women’s restrooms notoriously have longer lines! Seriously, why does it take us so long? Oh, right—because we often have to bring our kids along.
So, in many public situations, my son will be joining me in the women’s restroom. You have two options if you’re part of the public: either accept it or advocate for more family-friendly and gender-neutral restrooms. Your bladder isn’t more important than my son’s safety or mine. Until that happens, he’s sticking by my side.
My son has autism and an intellectual disability, which means I need to be his protective mother. If you’re worried about him seeing you skip washing your hands, that’s on you. Believe me, I’m not thrilled about this situation either. He’s 13 and definitely doesn’t want to go into the bathroom with his mom. I notice the double-takes from other women as he walks in behind me, but I assure you, I’m teaching him to be respectful—like putting the seat down after use.
And honestly, I couldn’t care less about the judgmental looks we get. If you feel the need to stare, feel free to take a picture; it’ll last longer. What’s the alternative? Stay home all the time? Compromise his safety? Never use a restroom? No thanks, I’m not risking a UTI for anyone.
We’re a community of mothers, each unique in our experiences, and we need to have conversations beyond just parenting. Check out our other blog posts, like the ones about home insemination kits or the impregnator—both great resources for those looking to explore family planning. For further information on pregnancy and home insemination, NHS provides excellent resources.
In summary, my teenage son will continue to accompany me into the restroom out of necessity and safety, and that’s a reality I’d like the public to understand. Until more family-friendly facilities are available, this is how it’s going to be.
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