I was a stay-at-home mom for 17 years, and I’m finished making excuses for that choice. It’s been weighing on my mind, so I’m ready to share my story. I take great pride in those years spent at home, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity. Yet, I still encounter that judgmental look from other moms when I bring it up. Yes, I graduated from UCLA and had a successful career before becoming a parent, and now that my children are off to college, I’m back in the workforce.
My Decision to Stay Home
Let me clarify: I didn’t choose to stay at home because my paycheck wouldn’t cover daycare or because my husband wanted me to be a homemaker. I made this decision because I remembered how hard it was growing up with a working mom and not having her around. I wanted to be present for my kids, and that was my priority. So please, don’t judge me for my choices; being a mom is a monumental ambition in its own right.
The Challenges of Stay-at-Home Life
Staying at home was no walk in the park. It’s incredibly demanding, and there’s no manual or performance review to guide you. You’re left to navigate the complexities of parenting day by day, often second-guessing yourself. It’s tough, and there were many moments when I felt like I was failing. But then a small victory—a great report card or a home run during a game—would remind me that I was doing something right.
Choosing My Path
I’m not someone who sought out a life of leisure. I used to work as a newspaper reporter and editor at a publishing company before choosing to focus on family. My goal was to raise nurturing, self-aware children who understood their worth and the love of their parents. So, if you’re one of those who looks down on me for not holding a job, keep your opinions to yourself. Women should be free to choose their paths without judgment. Some moms prefer to work, and others find fulfillment at home—so what?
Creating a Different Experience
There’s a saying that we either follow in our parents’ footsteps or do the opposite. I opted for the latter, wanting to create a different experience for my kids. I often wished my mom could have been there for school events or just to hang out. I wanted to be the one who could volunteer, organize carpools, and be actively involved.
So, I put my career on hold, traded in my professional attire for comfortable loungewear, and embraced the chaos of stay-at-home life. I loved being able to exercise, keep the house in order, tend to the garden, and volunteer at my children’s school. Yes, it was hectic, but it was also deeply rewarding. And to the working moms out there, I respect your choice completely—just keep your snide comments to yourself. My cooking may not be gourmet, and my craft skills might not be Pinterest-worthy, but I was dedicated and that’s what matters.
Financial Sacrifices and Choices
My husband and I made financial sacrifices when I chose this path, but we agreed it was worth it to have one parent consistently present. I didn’t want to rely on daycare or babysitters; that was my choice, and it worked for us.
Back to Work
Now that I’m back in the workforce, with one daughter at UC Berkeley, another heading to UCLA, and one still in high school, I find myself missing those long days in sweatpants but enjoying the adult interactions that come with work. I’ve traded my comfy footwear for heels, and it feels good!
A Message to Stay-at-Home Moms
To all you stay-at-home moms, I see you and commend you for your decision. Live your life as you see fit and don’t apologize for it. So to the mom who used to give me those condescending looks on the school run, save your judgment for yourself. I’ve grown wiser, and I’m beyond caring about what you think of my choices.
In Conclusion
In the end, it’s about what works for you and your family. Speaking of choices, if you’re looking for more information on family planning, don’t miss out on couples’ fertility journey. For those interested in boosting fertility, check out these supplements for helpful insights. And for an excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, visit this blog.
In summary, I proudly embraced my role as a stay-at-home mom for 17 years, and now that I’m back at work, I realize that every choice I made was for my family’s benefit. It’s time to stop the judgment and just live our lives.
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