In our fast-paced lives, we often overlook the power of our words, particularly when they are spoken in passing. You may not have thought much of your comment that day, nor the significance it held for me. It’s likely that the moment faded from your memory, but for me, it became a cherished memory.
The context was simple: I observed my son approach the counter to ask for stickers. I gently prompted him to ask again, this time making eye contact with the cashier. He hesitated, connected with her gaze, expressed his gratitude, and joyfully dashed away to create his sticker art. That’s when you made the remark.
You probably weren’t aware that I had dedicated countless hours to help my son develop this social skill, one that played a crucial role in the autism diagnosis he received from his doctor. Even if your comment was merely a casual compliment to a parent for encouraging their child to engage with another, it carried immense weight for me.
A Shifting Culture of Parenting
In today’s world, it’s rare for parents to receive encouragement from strangers, making your kind words all the more impactful. Parenting can often feel like a thankless endeavor, but the most sobering aspect is not just the lack of gratitude from our children; it’s the judgment that often comes from outsiders.
When people witness our children having meltdowns or acting out, they frequently leap to conclusions about our parenting abilities. There’s little room for empathy or understanding; instead, harsh judgments are rendered in an instant, often overlooking the challenges parents face in a society that caters primarily to adults.
Yet, in that fleeting moment at the fast food restaurant, you bridged the gap between parents and non-parents.
The Need for Understanding
Recently, I was on my way home from work when I saw a young boy, around four to six years old, joyfully bouncing up the stairs with his parents. An elderly woman nearby made a disparaging comment about the child’s exuberance, suggesting that if she were a mother, her son wouldn’t behave that way. Her judgment ignited a fire within me, and I almost retorted. Thankfully, the boy and his parents remained blissfully unaware.
What struck me about that woman was her expectation for public spaces to be devoid of childlike behavior. If society continues to suppress the natural joy and spontaneity of children, what does that say about us? Our culture seems increasingly averse to the expressions of youth, as if joyful, carefree behavior is something to be hidden away.
Sadly, many places have become designated only for family activities, pushing children into specific areas while adults remain in the “real” world. This growing aversion raises questions about what we might be avoiding in ourselves.
Finding Joy in Children
From an evolutionary standpoint, a dislike for the young of our species is perplexing. We are biologically wired to nurture our own and even other species’ young. Initially, I identified as someone who wasn’t fond of children. However, my perspective shifted dramatically through my experiences teaching preschool, where I learned to embrace the unfiltered emotions and spontaneity that children offer.
These kids, with all their quirks and chaos, embody love in its purest form. Embracing their energy can open our hearts in ways we didn’t expect. In fact, your kind words at that fast food restaurant reflected that very openness, and it encouraged me to be a better mother and a better person overall.
Whether you are a parent or not, recognizing the emotional labor of love and compassion is vital. Your brief kindness towards me — a complete stranger — made a lasting impact.
I hope to pay that kindness forward, just as you did.
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Summary
In a world that often overlooks the significance of small acts of kindness, a stranger’s comment can resonate deeply, especially for parents facing challenges. It reminds us of the importance of compassion and understanding in our interactions, bridging the divide between parents and non-parents. Embracing the joy children bring can enrich our lives and foster a more nurturing environment for everyone.
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