In recent years, I’ve come across numerous articles encouraging parents, especially mothers, to ensure they are included in family photos. The advice is simple: don’t just snap pictures of your kids, but also get in there with them.
As parents, we often find ourselves behind the camera, capturing every precious moment, yet we seldom appear in those cherished memories. When we do manage to get in a shot, we may be caught off guard—hair a mess, makeup absent, outfits outdated or stained, and bodies not quite matching our ideal. More often than not, we hit delete on those images without hesitation.
The push for mothers to be present in photos highlights a profound truth: our children will want to remember us when we’re no longer around. They’ll look back at the times we spent together, the joy in our eyes, and the love we shared. Stop fretting about your appearance and just be in the pictures. Your kids won’t care how you look; they’ll care about the memories. They will want to see their mother’s face as she ages and even after she’s gone.
However, it’s not just the kids who will cherish these memories. You will, too. You’ll want to reminisce about the times when your children were little, when you shared laughter and love. You’ll want to see yourselves together, not just them.
This lesson became particularly clear for me through my own experiences. My younger brother passed away unexpectedly two years ago at the age of 19. Since then, my mother has been grieving not just his loss, but also the fact that she has so few photos of them together. Like many moms, she often avoided being in pictures, preferring to document us from the other side of the camera. Selfies were not a thing back then, and my dad rarely thought to take a family shot.
My mother was also self-conscious about her post-baby body, her perceived flaws, and bad hair days. Now, she deeply regrets the minimal number of photos she took with my brother. This regret drives me to ensure I’m present in photos with my little ones, no matter how I look. I don’t want to just cherish their sweet faces; I want to see my own in those moments, too.
I treasure every photo I have, whether taken by family or myself. Whether it’s a silly face with my son or the first smile from my daughter, these images bring me joy and remind me of the love we share.
Sometimes, when reflecting on the past weeks or months, I can get bogged down by feelings of inadequacy as a mother. I think about the challenges—soothing a fussy baby or dealing with a sick toddler. But when I browse through my camera roll, I’m reminded of the fun, laughter, and love that exists even amid chaos. I see myself in those moments, and I recognize how much I cherish them.
I want my children to look back on their childhood and see that their mom was there, fully present, and loved them deeply. Hopefully, none of us will experience the heartache my mom has endured, and we’ll all be reminiscing over family albums with our grandchildren when we’re older. Let’s capture those moments together.
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In summary, being in photos with your children is essential for creating lasting memories—not just for them, but for you as well. Embrace your presence in the frame, regardless of how you feel about your appearance. Capture the love and joy of the moment, and ensure that you and your kids can look back on those cherished times together.
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