I was taken aback when I faced judgment for choosing to have an epidural during childbirth. Even more surprising was the fact that the epidural didn’t work! Let me clarify: I’m a firm advocate for epidurals! Bring on the pain relief! As a mother of three, I opted for an epidural with each delivery, not because I couldn’t bear the pain or felt weak, but because I wanted to savor the experience of bringing my children into the world.
Kudos to all the women who choose to go without an epidural—great job! However, I never considered going through labor without one. To me, it was a straightforward choice: feel pain or not feel pain. No shame in my game!
A Surprising Encounter
Recently, while recounting my first delivery story, I mentioned that I had an epidural that ultimately didn’t take effect. The woman I was speaking to responded, “Oh, you had an epidural? So you really don’t know what labor feels like.” She then turned her back on me and started chatting with another mom nearby. It was a crushing moment.
The First Delivery Experience
Before I even experienced my first contraction, I was eager for the epidural. After several hours of contractions, the anesthesiologist arrived. His demeanor was brusque, and he quickly administered the epidural. Moments later, I felt strange sensations—my lips tingled, my breasts felt numb, and I began to shake uncontrollably. I voiced my discomfort, but the only part of me that remained numb was above my waist; I could still feel everything below.
I repeatedly told the staff that I was still feeling every contraction. They finally acknowledged my claims when I reached 10 centimeters dilated and was ready to push. It became evident that the epidural hadn’t worked as I could still move my legs freely.
I pushed for an exhausting hour and a half, feeling every tear and the physical toll it took on my body. Despite my fatigue, my husband’s encouraging words spurred me on as I saw our baby’s progress. When my son finally emerged, the doctor remarked in surprise about his size, “If we had known he was going to be this big, we would have opted for a C-section.”
The chaos that ensued involved multiple medical staff tending to me. I was warned about significant blood loss and the possibility of needing a transfusion. My focus, however, was on the beautiful boy in my arms. I turned to my husband and commented on how big our son looked. The nurse laughed, revealing he weighed a whopping 9 lbs 14 oz. They joked that he might have weighed over 10 lbs if he hadn’t pooped right after birth!
The Aftermath
The aftermath of the delivery was brutal. I endured extensive tearing, leaving me with numerous stitches and a painful recovery. At my six-week check-up, I learned I still had stitches lingering, which didn’t dissolve until 10 weeks post-delivery.
When that woman claimed I hadn’t truly experienced labor, I felt a surge of frustration. My firstborn weighed 10 lbs, and I was acutely aware of every painful detail of the experience. My son required frequent blood sugar tests due to his size, and I dealt with significant recovery challenges, including incontinence.
Support Each Other
Let’s be clear: no one has the right to diminish another woman’s experience in labor based on their own narrative. Pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood aren’t competitions. Instead of shaming one another, let’s uplift each other. I carried my three children for nine months each, brought them into this world, and nourished them. The smallest of my children weighed 9 lbs.
So, don’t ever try to mom-shame me!
Further Reading
For more insights about the journey of motherhood, check out this post about at-home insemination kits, which can be a valuable resource for those exploring their options. If you’re looking for quality tools, the Babymaker home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo is another excellent choice. Additionally, if you’re interested in understanding more about fertility and pregnancy, the CDC offers great information on infertility.
Conclusion
In summary, every labor story is unique and deserves respect. Let’s support each other rather than engage in competition. Each woman’s journey through pregnancy and childbirth is personal and valid.
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