My breakup with my ex wasn’t particularly dramatic. Despite the fact that we share a child, his tendency to be absent—both literally and emotionally—meant that things ended without much of a scene. When my daughter and I relocated across the country to start a new life with my current husband, he didn’t even bother to say goodbye to her.
After we settled in, I heard from him only once in the first six months. I reached out to inform him about my upcoming wedding, but he didn’t reach out again until more than a year later, when a warrant was issued for his arrest due to three years of unpaid child support. By that time, I had already been married for a few months, and my husband was in the process of adopting my daughter. The only thing standing in our way was my ex’s signature on the documents. Of course, he ignored my requests for a current address until the arrest warrant made it urgent. Suddenly, he was eager to sign the papers to escape his financial obligations.
It’s amusing to me that this same disengaged father has started liking my social media posts. For the record, I don’t follow him at all—my daughter has a dad who is not him, and I have a husband who is fully present in our lives. Perhaps witnessing our happiness makes him curious enough to check in like a fan.
Initially, it irritated me. How could he like my posts when he hadn’t even checked on the child he helped bring into the world? What right does he have to insert himself in my life now, especially on social media? I was furious. Even though our separation wasn’t tumultuous, he had made my life as a single mother incredibly challenging.
But instead of blocking him, I decided to flaunt my happy life in front of him. I began posting more pictures of my husband and daughter—our joyful family outings, and moments that showcased my husband being the amazing father my ex never chose to be. I even shared personal updates on LinkedIn, cleverly crafting them to fit that platform since that’s where my ex primarily interacts with my content.
And you know what? It feels liberating! It’s almost like a public service. He’s not only seeing what he’s missing out on with my incredible daughter; he also gets to witness what a real father looks like thanks to my husband. Who knows, maybe he’s on the other side of the country taking mental notes, inspired to be a better man by seeing how we’ve turned the lemons he left us into lemonade.
None of my posts are intentionally malicious, and I don’t create content with him specifically in mind. It’s just when I notice he’s been peeking at my page that I feel compelled to give him something noteworthy to see. It’s a bit of fun, especially considering all he put me and my daughter through—she never did receive the child support she deserved, after all. If trolling him on social media is all I’m doing, he should consider himself lucky.
Is this behavior immature? Probably. Would it be healthier for me to let it go? Most likely. But after taking the high road for so long in every interaction with him, I thought, why not indulge in a little low road?
The truth is, I had moved on long before I met my husband; our relationship was over even before my daughter was born. It’s just frustrating that he can now find time to keep tabs on my life when he was so absent when we needed him most. His “punishment” is watching someone else cherish being a father to “his” daughter. As long as he follows me on social media, he’ll see my child thriving with a man who stepped up—her achievements will be documented online, not because of my ex, but thanks to the man who embraced the role he shunned.
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In summary, while my ex may be watching from a distance, he has no stake in the joyous life my daughter and I have built with my husband. It’s a bittersweet reminder for him of what he chose to walk away from.
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