A friend recently shared a meme that read, “Dear guys embarrassed about buying tampons, no one thinks they’re for you.” Honestly, who cares if they do?
I had a lot to say about this, but instead, I simply pointed out that some men do experience periods. It’s a reality. An anonymous stranger responded, asserting that my reminder about transgender men and nonbinary individuals bleeding didn’t need to be stated “on every single period post ever made.” They added, “Mostly women get periods. More cis women exist than whoever else you think gets periods. It kinda feels like a ‘what about MEN though’ on every women’s post.”
Well, stranger, this isn’t a question of privilege; it’s about inclusivity. First, let’s clarify: this was not a woman’s post. It was a call for men to mature and stop acting awkward when they need to purchase tampons. But there’s so much more to discuss. Men need to shed the stigma that menstruation is something shameful, dirty, or solely a “women’s issue.” It’s essential to recognize that other men can and do bleed, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s perfectly acceptable for people to think the tampons a man is purchasing are for him.
Now, let’s address the need for men—especially cisgender men—to let go of their discomfort around menstruation and any homophobia or transphobia they might harbor. When I teach classes about LGBTQ topics or share queer content on social media, guess who’s usually absent? Straight, cis men. It’s not because they’re all perfectly emotionally intelligent and secure in their identities; it’s often because discussions surrounding LGBTQ issues make them uneasy. They worry about being labeled as “guilty by association.”
Toxic masculinity has been ingrained in our culture, and it’s high time we dismantle it. Boys are raised to believe that expressing feminine qualities or emotions is unacceptable, and that boys who like boys or who were assigned female at birth aren’t “real men.” This outdated mindset needs to change. Trans men are men, and nonbinary individuals can identify as male, whether through gender fluidity or a combination of male and female identities.
Being a man isn’t defined solely by having a penis, and for some, it may include experiencing a period. So, to the commenter who missed the point, this meme wasn’t exclusive to women. Just because cis women may have periods more frequently than non-cis individuals doesn’t mean we should ignore those who don’t fit neatly into the gender binary. It’s crucial that those of us who are non-cis feel included in these conversations, rather than shamed by the gendered stigmas associated with menstrual products.
For many transgender men and nonbinary individuals, menstruation can be a source of trauma, exacerbating feelings of body dysphoria. The bloating, breast swelling, and constant reminders that one’s body doesn’t align with their identity can intensify feelings of depression and worthlessness. I won’t stop advocating for my place in the conversation surrounding periods, especially until we make space for all voices.
Moreover, let’s not forget about transgender women, who will never experience the monthly cycle of menstruation. While bleeding can be uncomfortable and inconvenient, some trans women find it painful to realize their bodies can’t fulfill what they feel they should. We can’t simply assert that “all girls get periods” without acknowledging the complexity of gender identity.
So, to the guy embarrassed about buying tampons: it’s perfectly okay if someone thinks they’re for you. Sometimes men bleed, and that’s not a mark against your masculinity. Bleeding doesn’t diminish manhood, and our bodies deserve no shame. We should not only encourage boys to buy menstrual products for the people in their lives who need them but also remind them that it’s perfectly acceptable for them to use them too.
When I attempted to share this perspective with the closed-minded commenter, they replied, “I’m unmoved by your point of view; my opinion isn’t changing.” That’s unfortunate because, much like a tampon, we all need to change outdated and toxic views before they harm us or those we care about.
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Summary:
Men can experience periods too, and it’s vital to normalize this reality. The stigma surrounding menstruation often excludes transgender men and nonbinary individuals, who also bleed. It’s time we acknowledge that bleeding is not solely a “women’s issue” and that men can and should feel comfortable purchasing menstrual products without embarrassment. We must foster a more inclusive dialogue that encompasses all gender identities to combat the toxic masculinity that perpetuates shame.
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