To the Friends I Long for

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Let’s cut to the chase: I genuinely miss you.

We’ve shared our lives for two decades—maybe even three—and while distance has often separated us, there are still moments when the ache of nostalgia hits me hard, and I can nearly taste it. Some days, that longing for our friendship feels like a burden, reminiscent of an exhausted muscle after an intense workout (if I ever actually exercised). Other days, an unexpected wave of homesickness hits me with such intensity that it feels overwhelming.

Over the years, we’ve come to accept the reality of our friendship, one that’s likely to persist for a while longer. Our main forms of communication now consist of texts, emails, Facebook messages, and the occasional phone call—which are all fine, but they don’t quite fill the void. I’ve grown accustomed to it, I suppose, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish for a different world where we lived closer, saw each other more frequently, and weren’t constantly swamped with life.

I miss the old days when getting together was as simple as a quick walk next door or a spontaneous call to say, “I’ve got snacks, and I’m swinging by.” I miss those endless conversations that could stretch for hours, the comfortable silences we mastered, and the way we borrowed each other’s clothes without a second thought. I even miss our regular TV nights watching shows like 90210 and Party of Five.

I miss our authenticity—the way we could lay bare our dreams without the weight of adult responsibilities like kids and work. Being together felt like coming home. But above all, I just miss you.

As life has marched on, we’ve formed new friendships—ones grounded in daily interactions with neighbors, co-workers, and fellow parents. I cherish these new connections; they help fill the gaps and ease the loneliness. But let’s be real—none of them are you.

Life seems to race by at a dizzying pace. Days and weeks vanish into a blur of piano lessons, soccer practices, conference calls, and countless birthday parties, and before I know it, years have slipped away. Yet, when we finally get together—whether for a brief lunch during your business trip or a long-overdue girls’ weekend—time appears to stand still, if only for a fleeting moment.

We might endure stretches of time without seeing each other—our friendship surviving on digital messages and social media updates—but when we reunite, it feels as though we’re back on that old couch from our college days. Yes, our chats now might revolve around kids and spouses instead of last night’s antics, but the familiarity and genuine connection remain. Our friendship still feels like home.

Beneath the layers of nostalgia lies a solid foundation built over decades of shared experiences. Despite the time apart, we can step into the spaces left empty and fill them with laughter, hugs, and heartfelt conversations as though no time has passed.

With our shared history as a backdrop, we bridge the gaps created by our individual lives. We might be working parents or stay-at-home ones, living in various corners of the country—urban, suburban, or rural. On paper, our differences may seem significant, but they pale in comparison to the depth of our friendship and the strength of our shared past.

So, we make it work, though it never feels like enough. Whenever we meet, we catch up on families, jobs, and everything that has changed. We reminisce, laughing until tears stream down our faces, recalling the times we said, “Remember when…” We tackle tough topics like health challenges and supporting aging parents—conversations made easier by the unwavering understanding of a true friend.

Eventually, our time together draws to a close. We wrap each other in hugs, exchange “I love yous,” and promise to meet again soon. Then, we return to our daily lives, focusing on our families and nearby friends, all while keeping in touch through texts and social media. Yet, amidst the busyness of piano lessons, soccer games, and work deadlines, we continue to miss one another—until the next time we can reconnect and lose ourselves in each other’s company again.

Until then…

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In summary, the longing for friends we’ve cherished for years is profound, and while life keeps us busy, the bonds we share endure through distance and time.


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