As a parent, I’ve always been aware that having too much clutter can take a toll on my mental well-being. My home might not win any awards for cleanliness (a little dust here and there doesn’t bother me), but I can’t stand the chaos of clutter. It triggers a strong reaction in me, making it hard to focus. After watching Tidying Up with a prominent organizing expert, I often found myself taking breaks, overwhelmed by the “before” scenes that made my chest feel tight.
It doesn’t take much to ignite my anxiety. Just a few wayward socks or scattered shoes can send me into a spiral. One glance at the pile of dirty dishes or some old magazines lying around, and I feel like I’m losing control. Even an abundance of “good” items—whether it’s a closet brimming with clothes or a home filled with rooms—can weigh me down.
I’ve known for a while that I needed to declutter, but I recently realized how this obsession with “stuff” could also affect my kids. We live in a society that pushes us to keep up with the Joneses, and as parents, we naturally want to provide the best for our kids. This often translates into living in the most lavish home we can afford, enrolling them in a multitude of extracurricular activities, and ensuring they have the trendiest clothes and gadgets.
We are led to believe that bigger and better is the way to go. But that’s simply not true. It’s exhausting to chase after this mindset, and it’s unhealthy for both us and our children.
I’ve opted out of this rat race. I’ve decided to stop trying to keep up with societal expectations. However, the challenge lies in my children. While I’ve managed to limit my own possessions, kids seem to attract items like magnets, displaying a natural tendency to hoard.
Moreover, today’s children are growing up in an era of instant gratification. They can binge-watch shows on Netflix without commercials, order whatever they wish with a tap of a finger, and (thanks to services like Amazon Prime) receive it the very next day. They have smartphones and tablets to entertain them, leaving little room for boredom.
Even if my kids don’t share my passion for minimalism (as they argue their “need” for dozens of Pokémon cards), it’s crucial for them to understand the value of living with less. Just because they may not show signs of stress from clutter doesn’t mean it isn’t impacting them negatively. According to psychologist Emily Foster, clutter can be overwhelming even if we don’t consciously recognize it. It bombards our senses with excess stimuli, diverting attention from what truly matters.
Today’s children face enough distractions with busy school schedules, after-school activities, and their so-called “downtime” spent in front of screens. Why add even more stimuli to their developing minds?
Furthermore, our obsession with excess is harming the planet. Since 1950, we’ve produced over 8.3 billion tons of plastic, with more than half ending up in landfills, 9% recycled, and the remainder polluting our oceans and endangering wildlife. Although only 3% of the world’s children live in the U.S., they own 40% of the toys. It’s startling. Americans now possess three times more clothing than we did in 1930, with the average person discarding 65 pounds of clothing every year.
This excessive consumption doesn’t just harm the Earth; it’s detrimental to our health. In pursuit of bigger and better, many Americans are working longer hours, taking fewer vacations, and delaying retirement. Experts agree that overwork and stress are rampant among us.
If we don’t teach our children to step off the treadmill of excess or prevent them from getting on it in the first place, how can we expect future generations to change?
I recognize that my kids lead privileged lives, with meals on the table, a safe neighborhood, and access to modern gadgets. Yet, I’m coming to terms with the fact that they often take these blessings for granted. Complaints about “needing” more or whining over delivery wait times highlight a sense of entitlement that’s concerning.
Despite my aversion to clutter, I struggle with these issues too. When my son expressed a need for new shirts, my instinct was to indulge him with a late-night online shopping spree. However, just because we could afford it didn’t mean it was the right choice. Instead, I’ve engaged in numerous frustrating discussions about why he can manage with what he already has.
It all begins with us. Just because we can doesn’t mean we should—this applies to upgrading cars, buying the latest tech for our kids, or even expanding our homes.
I’m making an effort to extend minimalism beyond my own belongings to include my children and our family as a whole. We’ve begun a 30-day decluttering challenge—on day one, we donate one item; on day two, two items, and so forth. Currently on day 12, I’m finding it increasingly challenging.
More importantly, it’s about curbing purchases in the first place. Change doesn’t have to be monumental; small steps matter. For us, that means repairing our old minivan instead of upgrading, having our kids share a room to limit their possessions, using local “buy nothing” groups to exchange items, prioritizing experiences over material goods, and exchanging outgrown clothes among friends. When we do make purchases, we discuss the reasons behind these decisions with our children.
These challenges aren’t easy, and everyone must find their own balance. My personal disdain for clutter and ethical objections to the “bigger is better” ideology may place me on one end of the spectrum, while others might find their comfort zone elsewhere. Regardless of where you stand, one thing is clear: when it comes to excessive belongings, less truly is more.
In summary, the relentless pursuit of material wealth can harm both our children and our planet. By teaching kids the value of minimalism and moderation, we can foster a healthier mindset for future generations.
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