Sometimes, it’s just a sympathetic pat on the back. Other times, it’s a quick gasp, lips pursed as if the person is genuinely pained. Every encounter is accompanied by a statement of pity: “Oh man, two girls… I’m so sorry. That must be tough.”
Actually, I have three kids: one son and two daughters. It’s interesting to note that it’s often men who express this supposed sympathy when I mention my girls. They always ask how I manage, checking in on my son as if he’s the one in need of rescue.
Now, not all men are like this; it tends to be the hyper-masculine types. In my job at a Division I athletics program, some of the athletes joke about how challenging it must be to raise two daughters, as if they know anything about parenting. However, the comments that annoy me most come from strangers—like the elderly gentleman who pinches my arm in the grocery store and says, “Two girls, huh? You’ve got your hands full,” followed by a wink and a chuckle as if I’ve lost some sort of parenting lottery.
Outwardly, I always respond with a polite half-smile. I’m not one to argue with random shoppers in the cereal aisle. They usually take my awkward smile as agreement, when in reality, I just find it irritating.
To be fair, I felt a bit apprehensive when I discovered our second child would be a girl. It was different from when I learned I was having my son, Jake. I felt a connection with him; a girl, however, felt a little daunting.
Looking back on it, being a father to daughters has been a wonderful journey. It’s meant melting my heart day after day, reading the same poorly written book that summarizes “Frozen” for six weeks straight. Though I’m tired of the story, there’s nothing sweeter than cuddling with my daughters as we read. It also means driving to work at 6 a.m., alone, only to find myself belting out “Let It Go.” And yes, it has led me to ponder whether Barbie is a bad role model for my girls.
Raising daughters has brought forth a whirlwind of unexpected emotions for me as a man. It has shown me my softer side, the side I never knew existed. I’ve learned that nothing is more fulfilling than hearing, “I love you, Daddy,” and nothing stings quite like “I’m never going to talk to you again!”
Perhaps that’s what these well-meaning strangers are hinting at. There’s a transformative quality to raising daughters; it encourages a man to become more compassionate and understanding. It brings emotions to the surface that society often tells us to bury deep down.
However, what they fail to understand is that raising girls doesn’t make you weaker or less masculine—parenthood is challenging, regardless of the gender of your children. But I can honestly say that raising daughters has made me a better, more rounded person. I’ve gained insight into the struggles, frustrations, and societal expectations that women face, and instead of diminishing me, it has enriched my character.
So, when I reflect on all this, it becomes clear that these men shouldn’t be expressing sympathy. Instead, they should acknowledge how fortunate I am. Because I truly am.
If you’re interested in more insights about family-building options, consider checking out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination. For those exploring parenthood, you might find information on the home insemination kit useful, as well as this intracervical insemination syringe kit combo to help you on your journey.
In summary, being a dad to daughters has shaped me into a more empathetic and understanding individual, and it’s an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything.
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