Recently, while getting my hair styled, my hairstylist expressed her disdain for the odor of cigarette smoke. Without hesitation, I confessed my fondness for it. I dabbled in smoking during high school and college, and occasionally, I feel a nostalgic pull towards picking up a pack. As someone in recovery from alcoholism, I fought hard against the urge to smoke when I first got sober. I realized I didn’t need another addiction to manage. Yet, the scent still brings me a sense of comfort. Strangely enough, I also enjoy the smell of skunk and find myself intrigued by the grossest of things.
Am I just odd? Well, perhaps, but it turns out I’m a benign masochist—and I’m not alone in this peculiar preference.
Understanding Benign Masochism
Benign masochism, as discussed in the study Glad to be Sad, refers to our enjoyment of unpleasant sensations and emotions while feeling secure. The thrill of experiencing fear, disgust, or sadness in a controlled environment is what makes it exhilarating. A team of researchers led by psychologist Dr. Leo McCray found that many people derive pleasure from activities that would typically be seen as unpleasant, an idea known as hedonic reversal. Watching a horror movie or visiting a haunted house exemplifies this phenomenon. Why would anyone choose to immerse themselves in fear, heart-pounding suspense, or even moments of disgust?
Surprisingly, many do! The key lies in how our body responds to fear. When we perceive a threat, our brains trigger a fight-or-flight response, releasing a cocktail of chemicals akin to an opioid high. Adrenaline, endorphins, and dopamine surge through us, creating a euphoric sensation. When we can enjoy that rush without facing real danger, we can appreciate the relief of being safe and sound.
The Joy of Sad Experiences
Another aspect of benign masochism is the enjoyment of sad experiences. People willingly watch heart-wrenching films or listen to melancholic music, finding solace in their tears. Crying releases endorphins and oxytocin, and emotional tears—which contain higher levels of stress hormones—actually help us feel better. Engaging with sad narratives allows us to experience emotional catharsis without the weight of the situation affecting us directly.
Safe Threats and the Allure of Disgust
We often embrace benign masochism through experiences that challenge us, such as painful massages, intense workouts, or the fiery heat of spicy foods. These activities are “safe threats,” according to Dr. McCray, who explains, “A roller coaster is the best example. You know you’re fine, but your body doesn’t, and that’s the pleasure.”
But why do we also subject ourselves to eating weird and gross-flavored jelly beans or watch videos of popping pimples? It’s all part of benign masochism. The allure of the unknown, the urge to witness something repulsive while remaining safe, and the thrill of tasting something vile but harmless fuels our fascination. Disgust researcher, Dr. Nora Bick, explains that disgust serves a purpose. Experiencing it in controlled environments helps us stay away from genuine dangers, such as diseases or harmful ideologies. Ideally, if we’re all grossed out by germs or the injustices of the world, we collectively foster a healthier society.
The Curiosity of the Corpse Flower
Interestingly, the National Geographic article that referenced Dr. McCray’s work also shared that some people line up to smell the corpse flower, a plant that blooms once every ten years and emits a stench reminiscent of a decaying body. This curiosity stems from our desire to understand something without facing it directly. “We’re driven to discover what a corpse smells like and how we’d react to it,” Dr. Bick notes.
In truth, many might indulge in a selfie with such a flower. It’s a unique kind of thrill for those of us who embrace our inner benign masochist, relishing in the strange allure of scary movies and foul smells. So go ahead and indulge—embrace the weirdness; we’re all a bit quirky in our own way.
Further Reading
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Summary
Benign masochism describes our attraction to unpleasant sensations and emotions while feeling secure. We embrace fear, sadness, and disgust through safe experiences such as horror movies, crying, and even challenging workouts. This phenomenon, explored by researchers, reveals that engaging with discomfort can provide emotional relief and foster societal health. From intriguing smells to strange flavors, our fascination with the offbeat is part of what makes us human.

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