You know the scenario: a close friend has just welcomed her long-awaited bundle of joy, and you can’t help but feel the urge to rush over to meet the little one. The thought of that sweet baby smell is almost irresistible, and you worry that if you don’t show enthusiasm, Mama might feel neglected. But hold on a second—let’s think this through.
I vividly recall being two months into my own motherhood journey and realizing that I wasn’t exactly thrilled about friends dropping by. My colicky baby was already overwhelmed, and the last thing I needed was visitors with unfamiliar faces, loud voices, and a tendency to bounce him endlessly. Seriously, give the baby a breather! I definitely didn’t want him to associate comfort with constant bouncing, especially when I was the one who would have to do it later.
Honestly, I would have been perfectly fine if no one had visited me. I was too exhausted, overwhelmed, and covered in baby spit-up to even think about feeling lonely. Having company meant I had to squeeze into something that barely fit and tidy up the dog hair that seemed to multiply overnight.
Before I became a mom, I was one of those friends who showed up just to hold the baby. I owe an apology to all the new mothers I did this to. No mother I know was sitting around eagerly waiting for me to arrive empty-handed just to cradle her baby. I’m no Baby Whisperer, that’s for sure.
There was one time I showed up at a friend’s house solely to hold her newborn, and somehow ended up indulging in dinner that her husband had prepared. How embarrassing! I wasn’t even the one who had just given birth.
Now that I’m a mother, I’ve come to realize there are some unspoken guidelines for those who want to hold that adorable little one in the first few months before the sweet baby scent fades…
- Bring Food They’ll Enjoy: Opt for takeout from a nice restaurant, and ensure there’s enough for both Mama and Daddy. Don’t skimp; leftovers are a must. Only cook if you know your dish will taste good—spending a little extra on a meal is worth it. If you can’t afford to treat her, then maybe you should reconsider your plans to meet the baby.
- Avoid Eating Her Food: If Mama offers you something, politely decline. She’s being courteous, but you’re not really a guest—you’re an intruder. Everything you don’t eat becomes leftovers for her, so just stick to water. Keep in mind that she might be too sleep-deprived to notice her offers are fake, but she’ll remember your greediness later.
- Bring a Thoughtful Gift: Even if you’ve already given a baby shower present, check in with Mama about what she still needs or peek at her registry. It can be something simple like pacifiers or diaper supplies—no need to stress about the surprise factor.
- Capture the Moments: If you’re handy with a camera, bring it along and snap some pictures. Just don’t try to sell her the portraits later—send them over for free.
- Dress Appropriately: Avoid bringing clothes that don’t fit the season or the baby’s size. Babies grow quickly, so use some common sense in your choices.
- Skip the Decorative Items: No new mother wants extra decor cluttering her space. Keep oversized stuffed animals and trinkets to yourself—she has enough to manage without additional dust collectors.
- Offer Genuine Help: If your friend is a bit controlling about her space, she’ll need to let that go. In about eight months, her baby will be on the move, and her control will vanish.
- Do the Dishes: If the sink is overflowing with dirty dishes, don’t just ask if you can help—get to it! Load the dishwasher properly, and don’t wait for her to say yes.
- Tackle the Laundry: Spot a pile of clean clothes waiting to be folded? Use your hands and fold everything, yes, even the underwear.
- Be the Thoughtful Friend: One friend didn’t just bring food and gifts; she called from the store to see if I needed anything (I did, nursing pads were a lifesaver) and helped organize items that were out of reach due to my C-section.
- Avoid Being the Clueless Visitor: A few friends came over with empty hands, and I thought, “I’m trapped by this tiny human and you didn’t even bring anything?” Don’t be that person. When I visited a friend with a new baby, I made sure to bring lunch and a small gift, since I knew she was feeling overwhelmed.
If you’ve been a “just-holding-the-baby” type in the past, don’t stress. Make a note to get a special gift for the baby’s next birthday, and remember, one day you’ll find yourself on the other side of this experience.
In summary, when visiting a new mom, it’s crucial to be thoughtful, helpful, and considerate. Bring food, offer genuine assistance, and make sure your visit is a positive experience for her.
For those interested in the journey of motherhood, be sure to check out some expert resources on pregnancy here. And if you’re looking for at-home insemination options, consider visiting this link for more information on artificial insemination kits.
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