A little over a month after I lost my son, beloved actress Laura Hayes unexpectedly passed away, followed just a day later by her mother, Sarah Porter, who succumbed to what is often termed Broken Heart Syndrome. This condition, typically triggered by intense emotional trauma, results in a literal tear in the heart’s left ventricle. When someone dies from this, it’s a poignant reminder that grief can manifest physically.
In my early days of sorrow, hearing of Sarah’s passing felt like a whirlwind. I found myself grappling with envy—how could her daughter’s death affect her so deeply that it claimed her life? And yet, I was still here, breathing, even though every fiber of my being ached to be with my little one.
People often told me, “I couldn’t handle that,” as if losing a child was a choice we made. But the truth is, I didn’t know how I was managing it either. I never wished for my own life to end, even as the desire to reunite with my son consumed me.
I wrestled with feelings of inadequacy for surviving such a tragedy. Every well-meaning comment seemed to diminish my love for my son. I felt as though I was living in a shell, a mere shadow of myself, forced to navigate a world that continued to move forward while my heart was shattered.
Time rolled on—days turned into months, which then stretched into years. The sharpness of the pain has dulled, but it hasn’t vanished; it has become a part of my life narrative. I no longer cry uncontrollably, but I do carve out moments for my grief. I tell myself, “You can let it out tonight if you need to,” and sometimes I do, while other times, the grief doesn’t abide by my schedule.
That’s perfectly fine. For grieving parents, even the happiest occasions carry a tinge of sorrow. Today, I find solace in Bereaved Mother’s Day—a concept I never anticipated embracing.
This day belongs to me and to all mothers who have endured the unimaginable pain of burying their children. It’s a day when our grief is laid bare; a moment when the world acknowledges the heartache lurking beneath the surface.
In a season that often overlooks parents like me, we crave every bit of recognition we can receive. After the last casserole has been eaten and the final sympathy call has ended, the journey of grieving a child can be an agonizing, isolating experience. The world tends to shroud our pain in silence, insisting it’s time to move on, leaving us feeling unable to heal. On Bereaved Mother’s Day, we assert our right to mourn, to raise awareness, and to share our stories of love and loss.
Today, I openly share that I had a son whose name was Carter, and he was my world. Losing him meant losing parts of myself that I can never reclaim. The ache of living in a world where he is forever frozen in time is a weight I will carry endlessly. It pains me to know that many more women will, tragically, come to understand this heartache. I would do anything to prevent this suffering, for it is a burden no one should bear. Yet, child loss is cruelly arbitrary, and we, the bereaved, are but a few among the unfortunate.
On this day, I honor my son, the life we envisioned, and the mother I once was. I allow myself this grief now so that I might seek some semblance of “normal” in the days to come. If the waves of sorrow crash over me, I’ll embrace them; but I also plan to celebrate joy for next week’s Mother’s Day.
Regardless of circumstances, the number of children, or age of loss—We. Are. Moms. Too. Feel free to let those tears flow on Bereaved Mother’s Day. Today is yours, Mama.
For more insights on child loss and support, please visit our home insemination kit page. They offer valuable resources that resonate with parents facing similar experiences. You can also check out the Pregnancy Week by Week for further information.
Summary
Bereaved Mother’s Day is a day of acknowledgment for mothers who have lost children. It serves as a reminder of the deep pain of child loss and the necessity of recognizing this grief. Despite the passing of time, the heartache lingers, but embracing moments of sorrow can lead to healing. This day belongs to all grieving mothers, affirming that their love and experiences should be honored.
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