The initial reactions I receive when I share that my family of four lives with my parents often range from confusion to skepticism, and sometimes even horror. Once the surprise wears off, most people respond with a polite “Oh?” coupled with a smile that doesn’t quite reach their eyes. It feels like I’ve pulled back the curtain on a secret that society deems uncomfortable.
In the typical American narrative, a home is usually a single-family dwelling. Growing up as a millennial, moving out of your parents’ house was celebrated as a rite of passage into adulthood. So, how did my husband, our two kids, and I end up living with my parents, whom our daughters affectionately call Grammy and Grampy?
It started when I graduated from college, burdened with student loans, only to face a lackluster job market for elementary teachers. My husband, with his Bachelor’s in psychology, found himself in a similar boat—his degree felt nearly useless without further education. With no clear path to stable employment, my parents generously offered us a room in their home. Eventually, both my husband and I landed jobs, and he began his Master’s program. Just a year later, we discovered we were expecting our first child and excitedly began searching for an apartment.
However, life had other plans, including a complicated pregnancy and an autoimmune condition that had previously gone undiagnosed. Throughout this time, my parents provided unwavering support, prompting us to postpone our plans to move out. Our daughter was born in early 2015, and we returned to my childhood home, where her nursery was set up in my old bedroom—where my mother once rocked me to sleep.
The transition for my parents into grandparenthood was seamless, and their help was invaluable. There’s something extraordinary about having multiple caregivers when navigating the challenges of a newborn. My mother, in particular, was a lifesaver, even getting up for those dreaded 2 AM feedings.
As the years passed, we adjusted to the rhythm of two families living under one roof. While we occasionally entertained the idea of moving out, it never felt right for any of us. My parents never pressured us to leave; in fact, they often expressed their contentment with our arrangement, stating that they couldn’t imagine it any other way. They shower their grandkids with affection (we welcomed another daughter in 2017) and provide us with a safe, loving environment that also offers practical benefits—like free, live-in childcare. This setup has given me more time to run and my husband more opportunities to grow his side business.
I admit that sometimes, while scrolling through social media and encountering posts about first homes, a flicker of doubt crosses my mind. Is living with my parents akin to the stereotype of a guy in his mom’s basement? But that thought quickly dissipates.
Multigenerational households were once commonplace and still exist in many cultures. Yet, societal norms have led me to believe that this should be a source of embarrassment. In a previous job, I tried to maintain the facade that we lived in a traditional nuclear family, which was exhausting and absurd. My parents, on the other hand, proudly share our living situation with friends and strangers alike—often to responses of envy from their peers, who express longing to see their grandchildren more often.
My children perceive living with their mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa as completely normal, which has shifted my perspective. While I used to feel hesitant to discuss my living arrangements with peers, now I embrace it. Yes, I’m a millennial thriving in a multigenerational household, and it’s a wonderful experience. We share responsibilities—financial, household, and childcare—and our compatibility is almost surreal.
I do worry about how my children will face the reactions of their peers when they proudly declare their living situation, but I hold fast to the understanding that our arrangement offers countless benefits.
For anyone interested in the world of parenting and family dynamics, check out our other blog post on home insemination kits. It’s a great resource along with Healthline, which offers excellent insight into pregnancy.
In summary, living in a multigenerational household has its challenges, but for my family, the benefits far outweigh any stigma. Embracing this lifestyle allows us to grow closer, support each other, and create a nurturing environment for our children.
Leave a Reply