We were once in your shoes—part of a family unit, sharing experiences with a spouse and children. Our lives may have seemed idyllic, but behind the scenes, things were often not as rosy as they appeared on social media. Whether our relationships crumbled due to betrayal or simply fell apart over time, we now find ourselves in a different reality.
One of the toughest aspects of joining the “Divorced Friends Club” is the sense of isolation that often comes with it. Many of our married friends seem to fade away, perhaps because they can’t relate, fear that divorce is contagious (it’s not!), or worry that we might be interested in their spouses (we’re not). It’s understandable that this new chapter may be hard for them to grasp. They might have questions they hesitate to ask or simply don’t know how to navigate our new availability, which often includes odd time slots (every other weekend is our prime time!).
Here’s a list that sheds light on what we wish our friends knew.
- Our Kids Are Our Priority.
We’re concerned about our children and how they might be treated differently now. They’ve faced a lot, and many of us feel guilty about our decisions. We want them to feel included and loved, just like before. Anything you can do to make them feel special is greatly appreciated. - Divorce Is Not Like Having a Traveling Spouse.
While being married to someone who travels is challenging, it’s not the same as being a single parent. If you refer to yourself as a “single mom” because your partner is away for a few days, it can inadvertently hurt someone who is truly navigating life alone. We appreciate your support, but remember that single moms face unique challenges. - Your Dating Advice Might Be Outdated.
If you’ve been married for more than five years, your dating advice might feel a bit old-school. We love that you care enough to discuss our dating lives, but the landscape has changed with apps and the dynamics of dating with kids. We’re learning too, so a little understanding goes a long way. - Complaining About Your Spouse Can Backfire.
There are different types of divorced women. Some are well-adjusted, while others are still healing. Complaining about your spouse may not resonate well with those who are struggling. We hope for your happiness, but be mindful of who you’re venting to. - Don’t Exclude Us.
We want to be included in outings and gatherings. Being invited to events makes us feel normal and connected. Even if we decide not to attend, we appreciate the thought. Please keep inviting us—we miss you and your kids! - We Still Have Common Interests.
Just because we’re no longer wives doesn’t mean we’ve lost our interests. We still have kids, enjoy socializing, and cherish our friendships. Let’s keep those connections alive! - We Cherish Our Free Weekends.
When we have our kids every other weekend, that time is precious. We want to catch up with friends or relax, so if you’re planning something fun, consider inviting us on those weekends. - Quality Time with Our Kids Is Important.
When we have our children, we want to spend that time with them. Yes, we need breaks, but our kids are our priority, especially when we have them full-time. Please understand if we decline outings during those times. - Missed Events Are Hard for Us.
Our kids may miss important occasions because they’re with their other parent. We feel sad about their absences, so please keep inviting them—they might be able to attend next time! - Our Stress Levels Are High.
Managing everything alone can be overwhelming. We often wish for someone to share the load—whether it’s watching the kids or managing household chores. The weight of responsibility can be exhausting. - We’re Often Exhausted.
Life can feel like a whirlwind of responsibilities. From getting kids ready for school to managing work and everything in between, it’s a lot to juggle, and we’re often left feeling drained. - We Appreciate Your Support.
Just knowing you’re there for us means a lot. Whether it’s lending an ear or offering a helping hand, your support can make a significant difference. - We’re Still Navigating Our New Lives.
Every day is an adjustment as we figure out our new routines and relationships. Sometimes we may struggle, and that’s okay. Your patience and understanding can help us through. - We Still Value Our Friendships.
We want to maintain the bonds we’ve built. Our lives may have changed, but we still cherish our friendships and want to keep them strong. - We’re On a Journey Too.
Just like you, we’re navigating life, love, and everything in between. We may be in a different boat, but we’re still part of the same ocean.
In conclusion, being a divorced parent comes with its own set of challenges, but it doesn’t mean we’re any less deserving of friendship and support. We appreciate those who continue to include us in their lives and offer understanding during this transition.
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