Life has a funny way of keeping us all busy. Take my friendship with one of my closest pals, Jess. We live just five minutes away from each other, yet our schedules rarely align. Her kids are involved in different activities that clash with mine, and work commitments and family obligations often take precedence. Despite our fleeting interactions, I hold dear the few texts we manage to exchange every month or so. I don’t dwell on the silence between us, knowing that when life gets hectic, our connection remains strong.
I’m fortunate to have a circle of friends who understand this dynamic. Patience and empathy are what I need, not judgment or resentment. In the past, I had friends who thrived on passive-aggressive comments on social media, lamenting their exclusion from gatherings. It was exhausting to navigate their need for constant validation, especially when they seemed more focused on their social status than on genuine connections.
I realized that I simply don’t have room in my life for relationships that come with strict expectations or constant score-keeping. I’ve distanced myself from friends who made me feel like I was always falling short. It wasn’t that I didn’t try; it was that I grew tired of the constant pressure to meet unattainable standards. The right choice for both parties was to part ways, even if it meant some hurt feelings.
Looking back, I might have had unrealistic expectations or perhaps I wasn’t the friend they needed. While it stung initially, I grew to appreciate the friends who don’t take things personally. I may not always respond promptly or reach out as much as I’d like, but my circle understands that my silence doesn’t reflect my feelings for them.
True friends sense when I need support and check in without placing blame. They offer compassion instead of holding grudges. Good friends don’t keep score; instead, they step in when they sense we’re struggling. Life is full of challenges—work, children, aging parents, and mental health struggles can easily pull us into silence.
Seek out those who understand you, those who send you a meme just to say, “I care.” Hold on to the ones who recognize the weight of your silence and love you regardless. And if our conversations consist of a string of texts or gifs, that’s okay too; it’s still a meaningful exchange.
A heartfelt thank you to the friends who hear me in my quiet moments. I feel you, too. My love may be silent at times, but it’s ever-present.
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Summary
Friendships can ebb and flow due to life’s demands, but true friends understand and support one another even in silence. The key is to surround ourselves with those who offer patience and compassion, recognizing that love goes beyond constant communication. It’s about the connections we maintain, no matter the distance or the time apart.
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