As I passed my son’s open bedroom door, I paused to switch off the light. My gaze fell on the figure resting on the bed, and it struck me: that’s a young man. No longer my little boy, but a young adult. I had to stop for a moment. I needed time to process this change and say goodbye.
Letting go of the child caught between boyhood and adolescence is something I’ve navigated throughout his life. From the tiny infant who fit snugly in my hand to the beaming toddler who wore a Captain Feathersword costume and carried either a Thomas the Tank Engine or a Lightning McQueen car, to the active school-age child who filled my days with heart-pounding adventures. I cherished every moment of his childhood, always looking forward to what was next while grieving the stages we had already left behind.
I’m not sure how to say goodbye.
Not long ago, I longed for just one more summer where he was still my little boy. I wished for a bit more time to revel in the joys of his youth. And I got it—one last summer of delightful boyish chaos. But naturally, he grew. And so did I; it was adapt or be left in the dust.
Even now, I recognize the beauty in this transition. My son is evolving into an incredible teenager. Each day brings new developments—he seems to sprout taller than my 5’9″ frame overnight, his voice has deepened, and his laughter has changed. We even engage in discussions about politics, and he holds his own. He’s maturing, leaving his childhood behind as he reaches for his full potential. This is the goal, and it’s evident that I must be doing something right because he’s turning into a remarkable person. A magnificent man, indeed.
Yet, I still find it hard to let go of the little boy he once was.
I know I will always yearn for that cheerful toddler, the whimsical thoughts of a 6-year-old, and the joy of building #EpicForts together. Each farewell to a stage reminds me of what I miss, but also of what I gain. My son is growing up, and it is both awe-inspiring and bittersweet. Together we have countless adventures ahead.
I’m fortunate that he still thinks I’m “cool” most of the time—or at least pretends to. He still enjoys spending time with me, often suggesting our next adventures. Although he occasionally opts to hang out with his friends, he always returns for a kiss goodbye and an “I love you,” no matter who’s around. He asks for my opinion and then confidently forms his own.
Sometimes, he still takes my hand as we cross the street, and I can’t tell if he does it to protect himself or to keep me safe. Regardless of the reason, I hold on tightly. Because the truth is, I don’t know how to say goodbye.
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In summary, saying goodbye to my son as he transitions into adulthood is a difficult task. While I celebrate his growth and the remarkable individual he is becoming, I can’t help but miss the little boy he once was. Each stage brings its own treasures, and I hold on to the moments we still share, knowing that there are more adventures waiting for us.
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