When you’re a parent juggling childcare and socializing, maintaining friendships can feel like an uphill battle. The isolation can weigh heavily, and you don’t want to impose on your friends. For many of us, especially those who work from home, finding time for friends can be a challenge, but thankfully, some friends embrace the idea of including our kids in our outings. Those friends are truly a treasure.
As a single parent, finding childcare is often a struggle for me. With a tight budget, hiring a sitter isn’t feasible, and I depend on friends and family for support. However, everyone has their own commitments, making free help sometimes hard to come by. I crave adult interaction, and if I’m heading out, it’s usually with friends who don’t have kids. Most of the time, that means bringing my son along for the ride.
Fortunately, my close friends never seem to mind. They understand that when I show up, my son is part of the package. Sure, it can be a bit chaotic—conversations get interrupted by spills or his enthusiasm about his latest YouTube find—but they genuinely care about both of us, which makes all the difference.
Thanks to their kindness, my son has formed wonderful relationships with my friends. They ask him about school and his interests, and they listen attentively when he shares stories about his toys. Their willingness to engage with him means a lot to both of us.
Recently, I saw a post from athlete Mia Thompson who shared moments from a friend’s bachelorette party, where she brought her young daughter along. It was clear that Mia’s friend didn’t mind the extra company, showcasing the strength of their friendship. Including children in such gatherings is no small feat, but it showed that the bonds they share are strong enough to embrace the chaos of childhood.
Making an effort to include friends with kids in social plans is a significant gesture. For many moms, especially those whose friends are child-free, it can be daunting to maintain those bonds after having kids. We know we’re no longer the spontaneous friends who could stay out late, but incorporating our children into our social lives helps reinforce that the friendship is still valued.
Those outings may look different now—think happy hour at a family-friendly restaurant rather than a bar. Our former drinking buddies might now enjoy a soda instead of a cocktail, but what matters is that we’re still together.
For some friends, including kids means cozy nights in instead of wild nights out. There’s something incredibly comforting about a friend who says, “Come over and bring your little one.” They might even stock up on snacks and willingly endure a marathon of kids’ shows. Watching cartoons isn’t exactly thrilling for me, but it’s a testament to their friendship.
My friends rarely complain about participating in kid-friendly activities, whether it’s sipping coffee at the playground or sharing fries while my child runs wild at a fast-food play area. The setting doesn’t matter; what counts is the time spent together.
I also try to carve out special moments for grown-up time when I can arrange for childcare. It’s refreshing to enjoy a warm meal and a glass of wine, allowing me to focus fully on my friends and be the best version of myself.
What many child-free friends may not realize is how much their efforts mean to us. Navigating motherhood often leaves little room to remember our pre-mom identities. Even if our conversations are punctuated by the sounds of cartoons or my son sprawling across the booth, it’s a reminder that I’m still a person beyond being a mom.
The fear of losing friends after becoming a parent is very real. Including kids in socializing is often the bridge that sustains these friendships. When you suggest a dinner at a family-friendly spot with a kids’ menu, it shows that you still value our connection, and that’s the most important thing.
In summary, friends who include our kids in their plans provide a lifeline for maintaining those essential friendships. Their willingness to adapt and embrace our new realities not only helps us feel valued but also strengthens the bonds we share.
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