“Mom, do you remember how Noah is always bouncing off the walls at school and getting into mischief?” My 9-year-old daughter, Lila, set down her fork, her eyes wide with concern.
“Yes, sweetheart, but we try not to talk about other people when—”
“I know, Mom,” she sighed. “That’s not what I mean.”
“Okay, what did you want to say?”
“I just wanted to mention that Mrs. Thompson has a special way with Noah. She doesn’t get upset with him like some other teachers do. She’s kind to him and always asks him to help out. And I’ve noticed something interesting—Noah performs better in Mrs. Thompson’s class than anywhere else. I think it’s because she treats him with kindness.”
At that moment, I found myself reaching for my napkin to wipe away tears.
I understand Noah’s challenges all too well. I empathize with his mother’s fears, her worry that others see her as a failure because of her child’s behavior. I know what it’s like to have a child who struggles in an academic setting. I also know the relief that comes from having a teacher who truly understands my child.
From his first days in preschool, my son Ethan faced difficulties adjusting to the structured environment of school. As a toddler, he often came home with notes about his inability to sit still during story time or his tendency to disrupt nap time with his chatter. We diligently reinforced the importance of listening to authority figures and maintained a routine at home to help him adapt.
Still, the notes kept coming.
Elementary school brought a fresh wave of challenges. Ethan received his first disciplinary note just two days into kindergarten. It was disheartening and left me feeling defeated. I thought, “What am I doing wrong?” I would get frustrated with Ethan for the constant notes and disappointing parent-teacher meetings, but deep down, I felt as if I had somehow let him down.
A few years later, we discovered that Ethan has ADHD. Through a mountain of reading, I learned that we hadn’t failed him—his brain simply works differently. He thrives on movement and noise, often getting distracted from the task at hand. His mind is a whirlwind of creativity, but it often strays from the prescribed curriculum.
When a teacher truly understands my child? It fills my heart with gratitude.
Throughout Ethan’s school years, we have encountered many compassionate teachers, but a few truly stood out, going above and beyond their duties to show Ethan that he is accepted just as he is. Instead of trying to force him into a mold of what a student should be, they embraced his individuality. They recognized that his restlessness was a sign of his creative spirit, offering him opportunities to express himself instead of confining him to mundane tasks he had already mastered.
Instead of reprimanding him for his fidgeting, they highlighted his strengths—his unique ideas, his expertise on dinosaurs, and his artistic talent—sharing these praises in front of his classmates. This public acknowledgment helped his peers appreciate his quirks rather than see them as disruptive.
This is what Lila was referring to during dinner. It’s evident when a teacher possesses that remarkable gift to connect with ‘challenging’ kids. It was a pleasant surprise to realize my daughter had noticed this too.
I know exactly who Mrs. Thompson is; Ethan spoke highly of her often. She was one of his favorites. She always made him feel intelligent and never treated him like a nuisance or burden, unlike some other teachers (often unintentionally, yet still painful).
I smiled at Lila. “Mrs. Thompson must have that special talent for recognizing children with learning differences—”
“No, Mom,” Lila interrupted. “She’s like that with everyone. She makes all the kids feel special. Everyone loves her. She makes learning fun, but she still holds us accountable. On the playground, she plays with us like one of the kids. She’s the only teacher who joins in.”
Maybe that’s the secret. Perhaps these exceptional educators simply have a love for all children, which enables them to excel with those who have learning differences. They see all kids as deserving of an education tailored to their unique abilities, worthy of attention, acceptance, and love.
Regardless, these teachers profoundly impact the lives of my son and countless others. They reassure these children that they are valued in a world that often conveys the opposite.
Thank you to Mrs. Thompson and all the remarkable teachers who create welcoming environments for kids like Ethan. Your dedication does not go unnoticed.
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