Sleep Training Helped Me Become a Better Parent

I have a little secret to share: I let my kids cry it out. Before you jump to any conclusions, allow me to explain. Parenting choices, especially around sleep, shouldn’t be subjected to scrutiny. Yet, the moment “sleep training” or “cry it out” comes up, there’s an avalanche of judgment from those who love to shame other parents, claiming you’re ruining your child’s life.

Let’s set the record straight: I’ve made plenty of parenting mistakes that might leave lasting impressions on my kids, but sleep training isn’t one of them.

What is Sleep Training?

So, what exactly is sleep training? It’s not about leaving your baby to cry endlessly. It’s a method to help your child learn to fall asleep independently. Numerous approaches exist, one of which involves allowing your child to cry for a few moments before you comfort them.

Like many parents, I had a vision of the kind of mother I would be – most of which evaporated before my first child even arrived. My birth plan? Gone. The delivery? A blur of trauma. Recovery was long and grueling, and something felt wrong from the start, though I couldn’t pinpoint it.

Now, I understand that feeling was the weight of postpartum depression. It was as if a switch had flipped, plunging me into darkness while I stumbled through the fog, merely existing.

The Struggles of New Parenthood

To complicate matters, sleep deprivation hit hard. Sure, every new parent experiences sleepless nights, but I was at a whole new level of exhaustion. I found myself on the verge of tears constantly, struggling with feelings of self-loathing.

I was managing, so I thought things couldn’t be that bad, right? I was surviving, and isn’t that what the early months of motherhood are about? I believed I just needed to tough it out. Being a mom, in my mind, meant being a selfless martyr, disregarding my own needs.

That is, until one fateful night that continues to haunt me. My son was crying. Again. I was trying to calm him. Again. And my frustration escalated. I tried everything – shooshing, bouncing, you name it. But nothing worked. In a moment of desperation, I realized my anger was reaching alarming levels, so I put him down in his crib and stepped out of the room. Luckily, nothing terrible happened. But it was a wake-up call that compelled me to change.

Making Changes

I knew I couldn’t keep going like this. So, I made some crucial adjustments. First, I weaned off breastfeeding almost immediately (and yes, I’m not looking for judgment on that decision). Next, my partner and I developed a plan to share night feedings. Finally, we embraced a sleep training method.

There are some intense sleep training techniques out there, but we did our homework and found an approach that felt right for our family. We would let our son cry for a few minutes before comforting him when we put him to bed in his crib. If he woke up during the night, we repeated the process, gradually increasing the time before we intervened. The results? Remarkable.

In no time, he began to fall asleep in his crib – on his own – faster and for longer stretches. By the time he was four or five months old, he was consistently sleeping 11-12 hours straight. Sure, we adjusted our plan for illnesses or travel, but overall, it was a success, and everyone was better for it.

The Debate on Sleep Training

Sleep training, particularly the “cry it out” method, ignites heated debates, with many convinced you’re creating attachment issues by not immediately responding to your baby. “How can you just let your baby cry?” they ask.

Let me tell you, it’s not an easy road. Watching the minutes tick by until you decide to comfort your child is downright agonizing. But you know what’s even tougher? Parenting amidst a mental health crisis.

Parenthood transforms your world, and pregnancy takes a toll on both mind and body. With fluctuating hormones, sleep deprivation, and the pressures of parenting, it’s a recipe for mental health struggles. I opted for sleep training not because it was easy, but because a healthy, stable parent is crucial for a baby, and I have zero regrets.

My mental health improved once my baby started sleeping better, and he’s been a champion sleeper ever since.

Finding What Works for Your Family

I’m not claiming sleep training is a universal remedy or a one-size-fits-all solution. If co-sleeping, bed-sharing, or other methods suit your family, go for it. The priority should be your well-being as a parent, which ultimately benefits your child.

Motherhood does not equate to martyrdom. We must care for ourselves to adequately care for our children without guilt. Let’s not allow others to shame us for the choices we make to be better parents. Because soon enough, they’ll be hitting the snooze button on school mornings. Trust me.

Conclusion

In summary, sleep training can significantly improve both your and your child’s well-being. Prioritize your mental health and do what works for your family, without fear of judgment.