There was a time when my children frequently had friends over for sleepovers, and I loved it. The house would buzz with laughter and excitement, filled with the delightful chaos of kids enjoying homemade cookies and pizza. More importantly, it gave me peace of mind knowing where my kids were and that they were safe. I slept much better that way.
However, the fun came to a screeching halt once they got their hands on cell phones. Instead of outdoor games or movie marathons, their phones became the center of their universe. At first, I thought this phase would pass and they’d return to my kitchen for snacks and conversations. I was wrong.
As the sun set, the usual noise and laughter faded into silence. Instead of the familiar sounds of excitement—requests for balloon fights or flashlight tag—I was met with eerie quietness, courtesy of their smartphones. The first time I noticed this, I wanted to be the cool mom and let them stay up late, thinking they’d eventually tire of their screens and start chatting again.
But at 3 a.m., when I tiptoed to the bathroom, I noticed light emanating from my daughter’s room. I crept down the hall, expecting to find a mess of sleeping kids surrounded by snack wrappers. Instead, I discovered three 12- and 13-year-olds transfixed by their screens, like zombies in a digital trance. I confiscated their phones and promised they could have them back in the morning.
That night, I lay awake, dreading the potential backlash from other parents about how I had failed to supervise their kids properly. The next day, I decided to confess to the parents. Surprisingly, no one seemed too upset. I promised to collect the phones at a reasonable hour from then on, feeling like I’d won a parenting award.
But I was mistaken. My daughter was mortified. Apparently, I was the only mom in history to have committed such an unthinkable act. Eventually, she moved past it, and when her friend stayed over again, I informed her mom that I’d be collecting both girls’ phones at 9 p.m. “I just don’t want them glued to their devices all night,” I explained. To my relief, her mom agreed and said she did the same.
I made it clear that I wasn’t trying to exert power; I knew the phones weren’t mine. But based on experience, I realized the kids struggled to self-regulate and weren’t interacting as they should. When 9:00 p.m. rolled around, I collected the devices and felt a wave of relief wash over me. I could rest easy knowing they were laughing, chatting, and enjoying the cookies I had baked instead of scrolling through social media or watching videos.
Unfortunately, rumors spread at school, and I became known as the “Dragon Lady” who was stricter than Cinderella’s stepmother. Suddenly, no one wanted to spend the night at my house. I suspect they even claimed my cookies were terrible, which is just absurd. I understand the need for drama, but it’s fine with me if they want to paint me as the villain.
What I won’t stand for is letting teenagers stay up all night, locked away with their phones. I wish they could put those devices down, but at 13, they lack that ability. Some parents might see things differently, but I trust my instincts, and I’m in charge here.
No, I won’t enforce this rule indefinitely. In a few years, I might feel okay letting 16-year-olds stay up late with their screens. By then, I’ll probably be too tired to care. For now, I’ll stick to my gut feeling, no matter how overprotective it may seem to the kids. I’m fine with taking those phones at 9:00 p.m.
I’m not too worried about the backlash, though. I believe in my cookies, and I’m confident those kids will come back for sleepovers before long. After all, you can’t resist the allure of a perfectly baked chocolate chip cookie.
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Summary:
In the age of smartphones, sleepovers have taken a backseat as kids prioritize their devices over fun and social interaction. The author shares her experience of trying to create a healthy environment for sleepovers by limiting phone usage, despite the resulting backlash from her daughter and her friends. While some may disagree with her methods, she stands firm in her belief that fostering real connections is essential for her children’s well-being.
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