Updated: Sep. 25, 2023
Originally Published: Sep. 23, 2023
It’s not uncommon for people to voice their strong objections when faced with ideas they find unsettling. Those who oppose transgender rights and our right to live free from discrimination are often quite vocal about their disapproval of my identity. Some cling tightly to their religious beliefs as a justification for withholding compassion, healthcare, and even basic customer service from trans individuals.
The refusal to acknowledge our existence, as if our identities are nothing but fabrications, only fuels ignorance. My experiences as a transgender person are meaningless to those who are unwilling to challenge their preconceived notions. Unfortunately, this stubbornness can escalate into fear, disgust, and even violence. Why does the mere existence of transgender people provoke such strong reactions?
Let me be clear: If a transgender person is simply going about their life without causing harm, we are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings of threat. Frustratingly, the so-called “gay/trans panic defense” still operates in 42 states, allowing perpetrators of violence to blame their victims based on sexual orientation and gender identity. However, there is hope, as seven states are currently considering legislation to ban this harmful defense.
People often feel uneasy when confronted with gender expressions that challenge their concept of “normal.” Research from St. Louis University found that gender nonconforming individuals—such as men who wear makeup or women in traditionally male roles—are generally more accepted than transgender individuals. The existence of transgender people disrupts the binary view of gender that many cling to, despite the reality that biological sex does not strictly dictate gender identity. Intersex and transgender individuals exemplify this truth: our anatomy does not define who we are.
While my gender identity is entirely independent of anyone else’s, cisgender individuals may feel threatened by transgender people because they perceive their own identities as being under attack. They often believe that gender is strictly tied to genitalia, and the existence of nonbinary individuals like myself defies their rigid categories. When confronted with someone who challenges their understanding of gender, confusion and anger can quickly transform into hostility.
This phenomenon is described as “distinctiveness threat,” rooted in social identity theory, which argues that our self-concept is shaped by our group affiliations. Psychology Today defines this threat as the feeling of insecurity that arises when group definitions become fluid. If I, a transmasculine person, can “pass” as a man despite being assigned female at birth, it can unsettle cisgender men who feel their own masculinity is being questioned.
I have personally experienced the awkwardness that arises when people misidentify my gender. Their initial confusion often shifts to defensiveness or irritation. This unpredictable energy can make me feel uneasy, especially in public spaces like transportation hubs or gas stations. Public restrooms can be particularly challenging, as I have often been policed by people who think they know better than I do about where I should relieve myself.
The more firmly someone believes in a binary view of gender, the more threatening a transgender person may seem to them. We can challenge this mindset by increasing visibility for trans individuals, promoting diverse literature, and teaching children about healthy gender expression. Supporting nonconforming individuals and engaging with us can foster understanding and acceptance.
Cisgender individuals need to recognize that my identity is not about their comfort. More than 25% of transgender people have experienced bias-driven violence. My identity cannot be validated if those around me prioritize their own sense of identity over my existence.
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In summary, my identity as a transgender person deserves respect and recognition without question. The discomfort some feel around gender fluidity highlights the need for greater education and empathy. We can create a more inclusive society by challenging outdated beliefs and embracing the diversity of gender identity.
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