It’s surprising how challenging it can be to maintain a facade of harmony as a partner and parent. You know the drill: pretending everything is fine when underneath, it’s anything but. Motherhood is relentless work. My journey as a wife and mother over the past five years has taught me this lesson in a profound way. Unlike some who grew up witnessing the unequal distribution of responsibilities in a household, I was blissfully unaware.
Transitioning from a carefree college lifestyle to feeling unsupported as a wife and mother has left me feeling a bit lost. In the years that followed, I found myself prioritizing the illusion of contentment over genuine happiness. I’ve become less vocal about my discontent and more compliant at home. While those around me may view these changes positively, I recognize that I’m merely another woman caught in the culture of self-sacrifice.
But a few weeks ago, I reached a breaking point. I refuse to play nice anymore. I won’t pretend everything is okay, nor will I continue to set aside my own joys for the sake of my family. From this moment forward, I’m committed to putting myself first—and I’m indifferent to others’ opinions.
It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when I started neglecting my own needs, as it happened gradually rather than all at once. I don’t expect my life with two kids and a partner to mirror what it was a decade ago. However, I believe we should evolve without losing our true selves. My previous self was not flawless, but it was authentic and cherished the importance of self-care.
I aim to merge my pre-motherhood identity with my current one, fostering a version of myself that can care for others while also nurturing my own needs. This isn’t an easy feat, especially when surrounded by those who either overextend themselves or completely disregard their own needs. Finding relatable role models for self-prioritization feels nearly impossible, but I know that by investing in myself, I’m ultimately benefiting my entire family.
To kick off my “me first” initiative, I’m focusing on three key areas: health, social life, and personal time.
- Eating More
I often get so caught up chasing after the kids that I forget to eat. Just today, my first meal didn’t happen until after 1 p.m. This not only hinders my health but also affects my ability to nurse properly. It leaves me mentally foggy and irritable, making it difficult to engage fully with my responsibilities. Nourishment is essential for my physical and spiritual well-being, and starting my day with a meal sets a positive tone. - Dancing More
Hear me out on this one. There’s hardly anything that brings me as much joy as dancing. The music has a way of lifting my spirits and transporting me to a better place. Being surrounded by those who share this passion creates a supportive environment that enhances my joy. My commitment to dancing signifies my intention to seek out more moments that make me happy. More dance parties, girls’ nights, and celebrations mean I’m making time for what truly energizes me. - Going Solo More
You can probably sense a theme. Taking myself out—whether to eat or catch a movie—provides much-needed silence. Who wouldn’t appreciate some time away from kid chaos? It’s a chance to invest in myself rather than spending money on meals my son will ultimately waste. Beyond just saving cash, these solo outings allow me to recharge creatively and reassess my goals. I refuse to let motherhood extinguish my dreams; instead, I strive to stay aligned with my aspirations.
Some people believe that mothers should devote their entire lives to their children. I’m here to declare that I have no interest in living that way. These small adjustments can lead to significant impacts. If I’m fortunate, I may even inspire other women in my circle to embrace self-care.
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In summary, prioritizing oneself is essential for overall well-being, especially for mothers. By making small changes in daily routines, one can reclaim their happiness and inspire others to do the same.
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