When my son Liam was in preschool, he faced teasing due to being the smallest in his class. Early teasing is often one of the initial signs of bullying, which can manifest differently as children grow, but typically begins around age three, with girls often more vulnerable to such behavior. Alarmingly, about 25% of school-aged children report experiencing bullying, according to StopBullying.gov. Bullying can take various forms—physical, verbal, social, or cyber—but it is ultimately characterized by repeated aggression aimed at harming someone.
October is recognized as National Bullying Prevention Month, a time to raise awareness and address this critical issue. When discussing bullying with your child, your first instinct may be to confront the bully or their parents. However, maintaining a calm demeanor, exercising patience, and providing emotional support is key. While there isn’t a universal method for these conversations, here are ten effective phrases to consider:
- Reinforce Their Decision
Let your child know that telling you or another trusted adult about the bullying was the right move. Many kids hesitate to report bullying due to feelings of shame or embarrassment, so it’s vital to applaud their courage. - Acknowledge Their Emotions
Be an active listener and validate your child’s feelings. Let them express their thoughts and reassure them that their emotions are completely normal. - Clarify That It’s Not Their Fault
Some children may mistakenly believe they are to blame for being bullied. Emphasize that they are not at fault and that no one deserves to be treated poorly. - Remind Them They’re Not Alone
Discuss your own experiences with bullying or share stories of friends or family who have faced similar challenges. This helps your child understand that they are not isolated in their struggles. - Boost Their Self-Esteem
Highlight the unique qualities that make your child special. For example, if they’re the smallest kid in class, remind them of the advantages that come with it, like fitting into tight spaces during games. Let them know they are loved and deserving of happiness. - Equip Them with Coping Skills
Teach your child strategies to stand up for themselves safely. Role-playing different scenarios can prepare them for real-life situations and instill confidence. - Instill the Golden Rule
Use the moment to encourage your child to treat others as they wish to be treated. Everyone faces their own battles, and small acts of kindness can make a significant difference. - Encourage Upstander Behavior
Now that your child understands the impact of bullying, motivate them to support others who are being bullied by reporting such behavior to a trusted adult. - Maintain Open Communication
Plan regular check-ins with your child, perhaps over ice cream, to discuss how they’re feeling and if the situation has improved. - Develop a Game Plan
Discuss what actions your child wants to take if the bullying continues. Would they prefer a meeting with the bully and their parents, or would they like the school to be involved? Respect their comfort level when considering escalation.
Experiencing bullying is a distressing ordeal for both children and their parents. By employing these strategies, we can provide the support and reassurance our children need during tough times.
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Summary
When your child is being bullied, it’s crucial to provide them with support and guidance. Encourage open communication, validate their feelings, and help them develop coping strategies. Foster their self-esteem and remind them they’re not alone. By equipping them with the right tools and a solid plan, you can help them navigate this challenging experience.
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