Sometimes, I catch myself gazing at him when he’s unaware. I study the rugged features of his face—a face that tells countless stories and reflects a life richly lived, with so many adventures still to come. There are moments when he looks so strikingly handsome and charming that I feel an overwhelming urge to shower him with love. How did I get so fortunate?
Yet, there are also the more commonplace days when he appears serious or worn out. On those days, I ponder what thoughts occupy his mind. Often, I can guess—perhaps a business deal didn’t go as planned, or maybe he had a challenging chat with one of our exes concerning the kids. Co-parenting isn’t always a walk in the park, and parenting can be quite the challenge.
From my spot at the kitchen table, where I’m often absorbed in work or writing, I frequently observe him in the kitchen. He enjoys cooking, and more often than not, he takes the lead on dinner. He knows when I’m swamped and steps in with ease. I watch him dancing to the music playing on our Alexa, occasionally joining in with a song. His culinary chaos has surprisingly become a source of affection for me. I can’t help but smile at his messy antics.
While I wash dishes at the sink, I often sneak glances at him playing with our cat. His eyes light up as he engages her, swinging toys in front of her and coaxing her to chase. He scoops her up for a gentle squeeze, which makes her squeak in annoyance. Just remembering this brings a giggle to my lips.
Before we adopted our cat, he was a tremendous support when I had to say goodbye to my beloved old dog earlier this year. She was nearly thirteen and had been unwell for some time. He stood by me through that heart-wrenching experience, offering comfort when I needed it most.
When you discover a love like this, you hold on tightly. You strive to be a better partner, avoiding careless missteps, and you embrace honesty with yourself. You realize just how fortunate you truly are. He patiently allowed me to grieve the loss of my past—of a life that had veered off course—and helped me mend my wounds, turning them into scars that tell my story. He helped me rediscover who I am, a person hidden behind the shadows of others.
Not everyone gets the chance to start anew. Whether it’s love, a career, or personal growth, many miss out. But I’ve been fortunate enough to experience all three. Sometimes, I wonder why I’ve been so lucky. Perhaps it’s because everyone deserves happiness, even if we often don’t recognize it when it appears—happiness can be masked by pain, confusion, or even chaos.
However, when we finally grasp what happiness means, we often realize that time is a precious commodity. Though we’re not old, we certainly won’t have the decades our parents enjoyed. With age comes wisdom, a recognition that a love like this is rare, and we hold on fiercely and put in the effort to nurture it.
We contemplate our future and how much time we have together to make up for lost years. We understand that time is fleeting and that we’re uncertain of what lies ahead. Worries creep in—what ifs and uncertainties plague our minds. We can’t predict when our time will run out or if we’ll accomplish everything we aspire to do.
It echoes the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, “Awake,” by Josh Groban, where he sings, “give me more time, to feel this way.” I reflect on the emotions I didn’t experience before and the depth of feelings I have now. Vulnerability can be daunting.
So, for now, I choose to focus on the present. I acknowledge that I can’t control everything; nothing is guaranteed, and life can change in an instant. I’ll manage what I can and strive to be the best version of myself.
Life after divorce has imparted valuable lessons. If I can learn and rebuild, so can you. If my children can adapt and grow, so can yours. If I can reimagine my narrative, so can you.
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Summary
In the midst of mid-life love after divorce, the journey is filled with both extraordinary moments and mundane realities. The beauty lies in cherishing the present, nurturing relationships, and recognizing the lessons learned from past experiences. This newfound love teaches patience, vulnerability, and the importance of seizing the moment, reminding us that happiness can emerge from pain and that time is a fleeting gift.
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