My daughter, who is just six, is in first grade. Every day after school, I eagerly check her backpack for any worksheets or forms that need signing.
Last night, one particular paper piqued my interest. At first glance, I thought, “Wow! Her writing looks fantastic!” But then, as I examined it more closely, I noticed she had lost a point for omitting a period at the end of her sentence. “Hmm,” I thought, “Her skills are almost perfect, except for this tiny punctuation mistake.”
This morning, while chatting with my friend Sarah about this worksheet and that pesky period, I expressed my frustration. “You know, Sarah, it’s not a major issue, but isn’t it a bit annoying that she got a minus one? Her handwriting was spot on. Her spelling? Perfect. Everything was great, except for that silly period!”
After a moment of silence, Sarah, in her usual insightful manner, replied: “Sure, she did a great job. But think about it, Jamie — that minus one serves to establish the expectation that there are always things that can be improved. And that’s totally fine! It’s all part of learning, which is what school is for. I understand the urge to want them to be flawless, but wouldn’t it be better to teach our kids that they can learn from their mistakes instead of feeling pressured to be perfect all the time?”
Wow. Talk about a reality check.
Here I was, ready to defend my daughter’s work, nearly missing out on a valuable lesson. As parents, we naturally want to shield our children and make them feel special, but we also have to be mindful. It’s crucial to instill in them that perfection isn’t the goal. Expecting flawless performance can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
We want our kids to grasp that there’s always room for growth and improvement. It’s unrealistic to expect a six-year-old to be perfect, just as it’s unreasonable to think a first-grade teacher should overlook mistakes and focus solely on strengths. We all have to remember that nobody is infallible.
The truth is, learning is hard. Perfection is impossible. Recognizing our own errors is essential for growth.
Sarah chose to respond to my frustration with honesty and constructive feedback. It would’ve been easier for her to agree with me, but instead, she opted for a more challenging conversation to help me grasp a larger perspective.
If that missing period hadn’t been pointed out to my daughter, she might forget it again in the future. The teacher was right to mark it, and I bet next time, my daughter will remember to include her punctuation. And if she forgets again (because we all make mistakes), I’ll be in a better position to handle it appropriately, thanks to Sarah highlighting the lesson I needed to learn.
This was a powerful reminder that mistakes are part of the journey…and that, regardless of how old we are, there’s always wisdom to gain from others.
For more insights on parenting, check out our other blog post about navigating the fertility journey at Make a Mom. You can also find excellent resources on the topic of artificial insemination at Wikipedia.
In summary, while it’s natural to want our children to be perfect, it’s essential to teach them that mistakes are part of learning and growth. Embracing this mindset can foster resilience and a love for learning in our kids.
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