For reasons I can’t quite explain, I’ve always had a knack for gut feelings that are almost eerily accurate, along with vivid dreams that often end up coming true. To put it simply, my intuition is seriously spot-on. While some might consider this a gift, I can assure you there are times it feels more like an uncontrollable burden.
These instincts and premonitory dreams aren’t always something I can control or use to shape outcomes in my life or others. They simply present themselves as they wish. Sure, there have been moments when my intuition has saved me, like that time during my teenage years when I had an unshakeable urge to buckle my seatbelt right before being involved in a serious car accident. I was a passenger in a vehicle that rear-ended an SUV at high speed, which then flipped over us. Miraculously, I walked away with just a few bruises. That was undeniably a blessing.
However, more often than not, I find myself at the mercy of whatever forces govern our world. There are times when I sense impending doom but can’t pinpoint what exactly will happen. Even in my childhood, I had a strange ability to “know” things that were often associated with others’ misfortunes or even deaths.
For instance, when I was seven, I informed my mom that the founder of Wendy’s, Dave Thomas, had died. My mom shared this with a coworker, and while you might think I learned this from news about his illness, our family didn’t watch the news. So, when I declared his death, it wasn’t true—at least not yet. In a twist of fate, he passed away two weeks later, and my mom’s coworker jokingly remarked, “You all are some freaks for knowing that!”
I can’t explain how I know these things; I just do. It’s not something I sought after or wanted, but it’s part of who I am. Yet, this gift can have its downsides. Knowing that something tragic might occur based on my feelings or dreams can be an unbearable burden when those suspicions materialize.
In 2016, I had a vivid dream where one of my children died at home. I woke up drenched in sweat and panic. Tragically, one week later, my four-month-old daughter passed away from SIDS. I spent countless months questioning whether my dream was a warning. Should I have acted on it? Why didn’t I take my subconscious seriously? How could I have sensed such a horrific event was imminent?
These questions haunt me daily. Somehow, I just knew I was going to lose a child, but I couldn’t connect the dots until after it happened. This experience has taught me to take my intuition seriously, not to let it dictate my life but to acknowledge its potential connection to future tragedies based on past experiences.
Just last year, two close friends announced their pregnancies, and I couldn’t shake a persistent feeling that both would suffer miscarriages. I know, it sounds terrible, but it wasn’t just a thought; it was an overwhelming sensation I couldn’t ignore. Naturally, I never voiced this fear aloud. Despite my history of accurate gut feelings, I held out hope that this one wouldn’t come true. Unfortunately, within three days, both friends lost their babies.
In light of such experiences, I often reflect on whether I could have made a difference or if expressing my apprehensions would have made me sound delusional. But the reality is, my intuition and dreams aren’t magic—they aren’t psychic visions or prophecies. They may stem from accumulated knowledge, heightened awareness, or unarticulated feelings about others. The human brain is complex, making it challenging to pinpoint the origins of these insights.
These instincts don’t provide a solid foundation for predicting outcomes. If I allowed every “bad” feeling to dictate my actions, I’d be paralyzed by fear. Author Malcolm Gladwell notes that instincts can mislead us. For example, after the events of 9/11, many opted to drive instead of flying, leading to an increase in highway fatalities. They listened to their fear, which ultimately resulted in more deaths.
But what about moments when intuition strikes without fear? Like when I was seven and mentioned Dave Thomas’s death before it occurred? Or when I dreamt of a friend’s life unraveling, only to learn about her brother’s tragic suicide a week later? The truth is, I’m still navigating these uncharted waters. Yet, I’d be foolish to dismiss my intuition after everything I’ve experienced.
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In summary, my strong intuition serves as both a gift and a challenge. While it can alert me to future events, it also brings a heavy emotional burden that I navigate daily.
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