Every time I come across one of those articles celebrating the significance of a getaway with your girlfriends, it makes my eyes roll. Sure, it sounds wonderful in theory, but for many of us, stepping away from our families is almost impossible. We yearn for that break, and we certainly need it for a multitude of reasons, but that doesn’t mean it’s a feasible option. When someone casually says, “Just take the girls’ trip!” it can feel like a punch in the gut for those of us who can’t manage it. We already know what we’re missing; we just can’t hop on a plane and leave.
As a single mom with limited support, I can attest to the challenges. Yes, I co-parent with my child’s father, which is a blessing, but his schedule complicates things significantly. Planning any outing becomes a logistical nightmare. We have designated days for him to spend time with our child, and any deviation requires a lot of coordination. Navigating around someone else’s timetable while trying to organize a “friends’ trip” often feels overwhelming.
Organizing a girls’ trip demands expert planning, even under ideal circumstances. When it comes to securing childcare, I need to start planning months in advance. There’s no such thing as a spontaneous trip when you need to coordinate with multiple schedules. The mere thought of it adds to my stress, which makes it tough to even think about the joy of going away.
I’ve only managed to go on one girls’ trip since becoming a mother. We started planning it months ahead of time, thinking that would ease the process. I informed my ex four months prior that he needed to be available during those dates. Surprise, surprise—he didn’t plan accordingly, and I was left scrambling. Despite all the early preparation, I still found myself in a panic as the trip approached, which totally defeats the purpose of planning ahead. While I enjoyed the trip itself, the stress surrounding it makes me hesitant to try again.
And let’s not forget the financial aspect; planning a girls’ trip can be an absolute financial burden. These trips are rarely inexpensive, especially when trying to agree on a location that works for everyone. Living on the west coast means I often end up traveling the farthest, as most of my friends are located on the east coast. While it makes sense to gather there, it also means I face the brunt of the travel costs. Flights can be expensive, and shelling out several hundred dollars for a short trip is not easy when you’re on a tight budget.
If I’m honest, as much as I adore my friends, there are far better uses for an extra few hundred dollars. Many of my friends face similar financial constraints. Even if we can cover the trip itself, there’s still transportation, meals, and entertainment expenses to consider. The total can easily approach a thousand dollars just for a few days of bonding, which seems excessive.
Don’t get me wrong; I would love to escape for a few days with my closest friends. The idea of conversing without interruptions and indulging in junk food while wearing sweats sounds heavenly. But the thought of all the stress involved in planning a trip outside my immediate area is daunting.
The studies that advocate for girls’ trips often overlook a critical point: there’s a privilege in having both the time and the financial means to take such trips. I’ve seen friends sharing their girls’ weekend photos and felt a pang of envy—not because they don’t deserve it, but because I wish I could enjoy that experience too.
For over a year, I’ve been trying to plan a trip with some friends. The primary obstacle? It’s simply too hard to align our schedules, especially with kids and other commitments. Finding a destination that doesn’t break the bank for at least one of us is a near-impossible task.
While taking a girls’ trip is an excellent idea for those who can manage it, I’ll have to wait for a more opportune moment. Until that day comes, if anyone wants to lounge in sweats and munch on chips and salsa at my place, I’m totally in. I might even manage to arrange a kid-free night before the year wraps up.
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In summary, while the idea of a girls’ trip is enticing, the practicalities often make it unfeasible for many. The scheduling conflicts, financial burdens, and sheer planning required can turn what should be a fun escape into a stressful ordeal. Until circumstances change, I’ll stick to low-key hangouts at home with my friends.
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