During a recent father-son camping trip with some buddies from my church, I found myself chatting with an old friend by the campfire. We used to be neighbors, and I knew him as a good father and provider. He appeared to be a solid husband, too. However, when I shared that I tell my wife I love her every single day—despite being married for 14 years—he chuckled dismissively.
He claimed that after nearly 20 years of marriage, he couldn’t remember the last time he said “I love you” to his wife. Instead, he believed that providing for the family was his way of showing love. At that point, I couldn’t help but scoff back.
Every marriage is unique, but here’s what I’ve observed over the years as a writer focusing on parenting and relationships. I often receive messages from women seeking to “fix” their husbands. Now, I’m not sure “fix” is the right term. They may not be broken, but many are often stuck in a rut.
Sure, I receive heartbreaking notes from those in abusive relationships, but time and again, I hear from women married to good men—like my friend—who are dutiful fathers and providers yet seem apathetic when it comes to their marriage. It’s as if they’ve checked off the marriage box, similar to ticking off an appliance on a shopping list. “I’ve got a wife now; that’s sorted.”
Let’s be clear: not all men fall into this category, and I won’t attempt to explain why this happens, because I truly don’t understand it myself. However, I do know that a marriage is not an appliance. It demands ongoing care, attention, and emotional investment. My marriage is my most cherished aspect of life. I love my wife more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and that’s the truth. But, when life gets hectic, with constant childcare demands and work obligations, it can feel like we’re just two colleagues managing a project rather than lovers.
While collaborating on responsibilities is rewarding, it often lacks romance. Taking a moment each day to express love to your partner—the one enduring life’s challenges beside you—is crucial. And it’s surprisingly easy to say those three little words.
Keep in mind, saying “I love you” daily won’t resolve deep-seated issues in a troubled marriage or remedy abuse. Yet, there exists a subtle divide between a mediocre marriage and a fulfilling one, and expressing love daily can help remind your wife that she’s valued and that your marriage is not simply a checkbox.
Expressing love shows appreciation for her hard work and reignites that initial spark. It’s essential for both partners to remember why they chose each other in the first place. Amid the chaos of parenting, a simple “I love you” can reaffirm your commitment to each other.
I shared these thoughts with my friend that night around the campfire. Although my words weren’t particularly polished, I noticed that as our conversation wrapped up, he pulled out his phone and sent a text. I like to think he was reaching out to his wife with an “I love you,” even if just to save face.
For more insights on relationships and parenting, check out this blog post on couples’ fertility journeys, or explore resources like the BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit, an authority on the topic. You can also find valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination at CCRM IVF’s blog.
In summary, expressing love daily is a simple yet powerful practice that can significantly enhance your marriage and prevent it from becoming just another item on your to-do list.
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