As a teenager, I had a harrowing encounter with cannabis that has left me apprehensive about it to this day.
During my high school years, I dabbled in being a casual user of marijuana. While I wasn’t under its influence constantly, I would partake with friends and my boyfriend almost every weekend. There were instances when I even showed up to school in a haze. Reflecting on that time, I can say they weren’t my proudest moments, but I managed to navigate the experience with a degree of responsibility. Like many teens, I had profound thoughts about life, the universe, and other intriguing subjects while under the influence.
Everything Changed
But then everything changed.
In my senior year, after recovering from bronchitis, I was still on antibiotics and coughing often. When a close friend came over to hang out and smoke, we decided it would be wiser to consume the edibles she brought instead of inhaling smoke. I had no idea how monumental of a mistake that would be.
For those who don’t know, consuming marijuana can hit you much harder than smoking it, and while I had a vague understanding of this, I wasn’t prepared for the intensity. I also didn’t monitor how much I was eating, and mixing it with antibiotics? A recipe for disaster.
Within an hour, I spiraled into a full-blown panic attack. I felt as if I were in a surreal dream—not a pleasant one, mind you. I was detached from reality, feeling like an observer of my own life. My grip on my identity started to slip away, and the terrifying thought that I might be “losing my mind” consumed me.
Panic surged through me; my heart raced, and I found myself sobbing and trembling. In a panic, I called my boyfriend, who was away at college, explaining, “I ate pot, and something is very, very wrong.” His laughter only heightened my fear. Although he tried to comfort me, nothing eased my distress. I truly believed I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and would need medical attention.
The worst part? I felt an overwhelming sense of disconnection from myself and my surroundings, convinced that I would never return to my normal self.
Thankfully, as the effects of the cannabis faded a few hours later, I returned to reality. In that moment, I resolved never to consume marijuana again, a decision I felt was prudent. However, I later experimented with smoking it a few times. While none of those experiences matched the horror of that first one, I still encountered lingering feelings of paranoia and disconnection. It was as if my body had flipped a switch; the calming effects I once enjoyed were replaced with flashbacks of my terrifying edible experience.
Empowerment Through Decision
By the early years of college, I had made the decision to stop smoking altogether. Peer pressure nudged me to reconsider, but I recognized that it simply wasn’t worth it for me. This realization was empowering, marking a significant moment in my adolescence.
I hold no disdain for cannabis, and I respect those who find it beneficial for their health or mental well-being. I support its legalization and acknowledge that there are various strains available today that might not trigger such adverse reactions. Yet, I have zero desire to revisit it.
Talking to My Children
As a mother of two boys, I understand they may eventually explore substances like marijuana and alcohol. It’s crucial for them to know that not everyone has a positive experience with cannabis. I aim to be transparent about my own experiences, both good and bad, as we discuss these topics together.
Cannabis can affect individuals differently, and it’s perfectly okay to recognize when it’s not for you. Many people share similar sentiments, and we need to have open conversations about the potential negative effects of marijuana.
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Conclusion
In summary, my experience with cannabis in my teenage years was a turning point that shaped my views on its use. It’s important to recognize that while many find joy and relief in marijuana, others may not have the same experience. Open dialogue about both sides is essential.
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