In today’s world, we long for a sense of community. We want to rebuild that village spirit where we can rely on one another, offering juice boxes, Band-Aids, and a helping hand. We yearn for genuine conversations at the park rather than being glued to our screens, and we crave that feeling of belonging. We believe that the well-being of all children is a shared responsibility, not just that of their parents. So, if your child is behaving poorly, I will get involved, just as I hope you’ll step in if my child is acting out too.
Now, let me clarify—I’m not going to aggressively confront your child for throwing sand at mine. That’s just rude and traumatizing, and I wouldn’t want that for my kids either. I’ve experienced strangers yelling at my children over their behavior, which only left me feeling angry. Kids, especially those with ADHD, often need gentle reminders rather than harsh reprimands. It’s important to remember that your child might be navigating similar challenges.
Kids will be kids, and it’s natural for them to misbehave from time to time. However, there are moments that warrant intervention from anyone nearby, especially if you’re not watching. Here are some scenarios where I believe stepping in is necessary:
- Blatant Meanness: If your child is bullying or name-calling, I’ll intervene. My household doesn’t tolerate that kind of behavior, and my kids certainly don’t deserve it.
- Physical Aggression: If there’s any form of violence—shoving, hitting, or pinching—regardless of who started it, I’ll call it out.
- Dangerous Situations: My perception of danger may differ from others, but if I see your child in a risky situation—like teetering on a ledge—you can bet I’ll step in.
- Inappropriate Discussions: If your child is sharing age-inappropriate content, like explicit terms, with mine, I will address it. This isn’t about shaming anyone; it’s just about keeping the conversation age-appropriate.
- Ignoring Boundaries: If one child has clearly asked another not to touch them and their request is ignored, I will step in. Everyone deserves the right to their personal space.
- Taking Toys: If your child snatches a toy from another child, I’ll step in. That’s stealing, plain and simple.
When I do intervene, I won’t be aggressive. Instead, I’ll approach calmly and talk to the child at eye level. I’ll introduce myself and create a connection, reminding them of the importance of kindness and highlighting that their parents wouldn’t approve of such behavior. For example, I might say, “I noticed you called that kid a name or took something from them. That isn’t nice, and I’m sure your parents don’t allow that at home. We have similar rules.” Offering to help them play nicely shows that I care about their feelings and development, and it also sets the stage for consequences if the behavior continues.
It’s crucial to approach these situations respectfully. Children are still learning to navigate their emotions and social interactions. If my child misbehaves, please let me know immediately. I want to hear what happened and how it was handled. If you do it well, I might just owe you some cookies, because we’re all in this together—we’re a village!
So, don’t hesitate to step in when necessary, but remember to act with kindness and understanding. After all, these kids are still learning to be good humans, just like yours are. Let’s commit to respecting each other’s children and supporting one another in this parenting journey.
If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting and family journeys, check out our post on home insemination kits at Make A Mom or learn more about fertility journeys at Cleveland Clinic’s IVF and Fertility Preservation podcast.
Summary: Building a supportive community is essential for raising children. If your child misbehaves, it’s okay to step in—all while approaching with kindness and understanding. We should work together to teach our kids about empathy and respect.
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