My son, Ethan, achieved most of his developmental milestones, but speech was a significant area of concern. The day my husband and I received the speech therapist’s report on Ethan’s language delay was one of the most challenging moments of my life. The memory of that moment still lingers, as every parent dealing with special needs knows how impactful such news can be. I recall the therapist’s words, but they seemed to fade into the background as my heart sank. I had a three-year-old son and a one-and-a-half-year-old daughter relying on me, and I knew I had to pull myself together and devise a plan for my family.
I wrote down my thoughts in my planner:
- Problem: Ethan isn’t talking.
- Solution:
- Engage Ethan constantly, even when it seems he isn’t listening. Educate him about our surroundings while driving. Count objects that interest him, like traffic lights.
- Conduct thorough research. I would not allow any doctor or therapist to suggest I wasn’t doing enough. I became determined to be the most informed parent in the room.
- Remember, I’m steering this journey, not the therapists or doctors. They’re part of the team, but I’m behind the wheel. I can handle this!
I vividly remember when a school diagnostician visited our home and suggested that Ethan might have Asperger’s syndrome. Later, she implied that I wasn’t engaging with him enough, asking, “Do you get down on the floor to play?” I thought I did but began to doubt myself. I felt the weight of judgment, and anger bubbled within me.
After her visit, I researched Asperger’s and found it didn’t fit Ethan’s profile. Children with this condition typically develop speech on time, while Ethan was still limited to about 15 words, many of which were his own creations. Did I engage him enough? It’s hard to feel adequate as a parent when you’re grappling with feelings of failure.
In search of a little retail therapy, I bought a new pair of jeans from the Gap. I decided that I would wear these jeans every time I played on the floor with Ethan. They represented my commitment to overcoming his Developmental Language Disorder (DLD). With Ethan scoring in the 2nd percentile for his age, the situation felt daunting. Yet, I saw his eagerness to learn and express himself.
We started with a train set, playing with Thomas the Tank Engine daily. I modeled back-and-forth interactions with toys, working hard to help him articulate his needs, like asking for water or food. We spent countless moments in the kitchen practicing sign language alongside spoken words for essential concepts.
Rather than becoming overwhelmed by speech goals, I tailored them to Ethan’s interests and frustrations. I shared my strategy with his speech therapist: “Let’s focus on helping him request items he needs through modeling without causing frustration.” We began with water and gradually expanded to food, toys, and his personal interests. I cleverly incorporated learning elements like sight words, shapes, colors, and the alphabet into our playtime. One of the first words he uttered was “frappuccino,” a testament to my reliance on Starbucks during this journey.
On our way to speech therapy, I counted streetlights, and one day, to my astonishment, Ethan joined in. Tears filled my eyes. That moment was a milestone I had long awaited. My quirky habit of talking to myself in the car finally paid off. Initially, achieving one goal took two months, but within a year, we were accomplishing them in just two weeks.
As I wore my jeans over the months, I noticed they were fading at the knees. Eventually, they ripped, but I continued to wear them proudly until Ethan’s next evaluation. As the speech therapist reviewed his progress, I reflected on my growth and the holes in my jeans, symbols of perseverance and dedication.
Afterward, I bought a new pair of jeans and repeated this process multiple times. I’ve kept most of the worn-out pairs as trophies for each milestone Ethan achieved. I often encourage other parents navigating Developmental Language Disorder to invest in a pair of jeans and engage in play with their child. While outcomes are unpredictable, the joy of these moments and the stories behind the holes in the knees are priceless.
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Summary:
This article chronicles my journey as a parent navigating my son Ethan’s speech delay. From feelings of inadequacy to finding motivation through a simple pair of jeans, I share the strategies and milestones that marked our progress. Engaging in play and adapting my approach to his needs led to significant growth. I encourage other parents facing similar challenges to embrace the journey with joy and creativity.
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